PVI Runfest 5k

So, all that training this summer to try and get faster was building towards this one race. I had wanted to do a 5K earlier in the year and it didn't happen, so I went into this run hoping for a good performance. If I blew it, I'd feel like crap all day. And, while I worked hard doing hill repeats, tempo runs, and track workouts, the effort would have seemed useless if it didn't translate into speed come race day.

I wanted everything to be just right so that I would be in position to do well. I set up the coffee the night before. I tried to get a decent night's sleep and did well considering the lack of success we are having with sleep training Naomi. I got up with time to spare, meaning I could relax and try to poop, avoiding any potential disasters. And, although race time was at 8AM, I didn't head over until about 7AM for packet pickup and a warm up run.

The race wasn't too far from the house, which was one of the reasons I registered for it. It took me 5 minutes or so to drive over and it was easy to find parking immediately. Packet pickup was no problem at all either. They said that they would only have t-shirts for the first 500 people, but they've never had 500 people even sign up for the event. The race was put on by the athletic booster club over at Paul VI, although the proceeds this year were partly donated to a Virginia Tech related charity. And, as it is the season for these kinds of things, several local politicians were campaigning at the event, namely Jeannemarie Devolites Davis and Chap Petersen, although Devolites Davis's husband, Tom Davis, was there too and he ran in the race. He is slow and gets very, very sweaty. I've seen him run a few races now and it is always the same result. Plus, he gets very red in the face from the effort. But, I think it is cool that he always comes out and runs. He's going to need to know how to run well if he plans on taking on Mark Warner for the soon-t0-be-vacated senate seat here in Virginia. But I digress...

After getting my stuff, which was the lightest bag of goodies I've ever gotten (just a coupon and some mints), I went for a warm up run around the course. I've never been one to do this, but I think that starting off cold in a short race is a bad idea. I would either start out way too fast and crash or I'd start out way too slow and have to run like hell at the end, something I'm not likely to do very well. And, since the course was a double loop, it seemed like an easy way to just get the blood flowing. Oh yeah, and it was cold as hell. I think it was below 50 or so when I got to the race and it didn't warm up much at all. So, if nothing else, I needed to run a bit just to warm up. As I ran the course, I started to feel very confident about my chances at accomplishing my goal. I wanted to run a sub-7:00/ mi race and everything seemed to be going my way. I felt good, the weather was perfect, and my warm up run put me in the right frame of mind. I got back with just enough time for a bathroom break and then it was time to line up at the start. There were a fair number of kids in the race for some reason, all of whom had lined up in front. Since this wasn't a chip timed race, I didn't really want to fight my way around a bunch of children, but it didn't look like I was going to have much choice. So, I sucked it up and figured I'd cut around them when I had the chance.

And we're off! I felt strange again, just like I have at the beginning of the other races I've run this summer. Like my heart is going nuts and I get a bit lightheaded. I felt out of sorts for a moment and thought that there would be no way I could keep running if I continued to feel like that. But, very quickly, it dissipated and I was running fine. I did make it around almost all the kids immediately. The first loop just zipped by. I felt like I was going a bit too fast, so I tried to slow it down just a bit. I was around 6-6:30/mi for the first .25-.5 and that was going to kill me. Plus, after the first mile, there was a nice hill to climb on the way to the halfway point, so I knew I'd need to have some gas for that.

Approaching the halfway point, I was gaining on a kid who couldn't have been older than 10 or 11. He was pretty fast, certainly faster than I was at his age, but I wasn't going to run slower than him in this race. But, when I passed him, he tried to get back in front of me. So, I passed him again, and he continued to try to stay in front, this time racing over and getting right in front of me, close enough that I could kicked him in the ass. Now I was irritated, so I pulled to the left and hit the gas, dropping this kid and gaining on the older guys in front of us. I'd have been happy to run with this kid the whole way, but I don't appreciate it when a runner steps in front of me like that. Looking back, I owe that kid some thanks. By getting me pissed off a bit, I ran faster through the second loop.

By my GPS, I had creeped up over 6:50/mi through the hilly part of the course, so I tried to gain some on the easier part on my second go-around. And I did, thankfully, because the hills and the last part of the course came up again pretty quickly. But, I didn't lose any momentum on the hill and kept the pace up until the end. The only thing that I did notice was that I didn't feel like I had enough left for a real burst at the end. I can usually pull something together in the last few hundred yards and just run balls out to finish. But, this time, I didn't. Maybe I should have pushed harder or maybe I was so pleased with my performance that I let myself off the hook. I knew I had a sub-7:00/mi in the bag and I think I just cruised at the end. In any case, I have absolutely no complaints. My GPS said I ran a 6:45/mi, although the official race results say 6:50/mi. I would give them the benefit of the doubt on the distance since I've seen discrepancies with the GPS unit before, but I know I crossed the line at 21:10 and they've got me at 21:12. Two seconds isn't much, but I know what I saw and it does irritate me a bit. But, that is what happens when the timing system is basically a bunch of people with a clock and some clipboards.

The only thing that does suck about this is that I'd have placed in my age group if this was 2005 or 2006. But, as my luck would have it, a bunch of fast guys in their 30s seemed to decide to race this year and I got pushed out. There is always next year, I guess. I will be running this race again since it is a nice, easy course and it is near my house. And, the t-shirts aren't half bad either.


PVI Runfest 5k
Fairfax , VA
September 16, 8:00 AM

Time: 21:12
Gender Place: 8/19
Overall Place: 48/269
Pace: 6:50

My Weaknesses

This is no introspective post at all. Instead, this is a recording of a few foods that I cannot keep myself from pigging out on when we have them in the house. These are things that cannot be purchased or else I get myself into trouble:

1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch - Worst. Cereal. Ever. I eat this crap by the handful, straight from the box. It is tastier than most snacks and desserts you can buy in the grocery store.

2. Peanut Butter Pretzels - Oof. I have had these tasty nuggets from a number of different sources: Trader Joes, BJs, and Wegmans. I think I love them all. Bad, bad, bad little treats. You must not get unsalted, though. It just isn't as good.

3. Vanilla Yogurt Raisins - This is a new obsession of mine. Wow. I eat them one or two at a time and don't stop eating them like that for an hour. Just a perfect drop of creamy sweetness.

4. Reduced Fat Oreos - The real Oreos taste better, but there is a certain chocolate aftertaste to these cookies that I crave. I have to eat 6-8 of them every time I get near a box.

5. Okay...cookies - I love all cookies. Teddy Grahams are the current badness, but I've loved up boxes of Vienna Fingers, Chips Ahoy, weird Ikea cookies, homemade cookies, Bug Bites, and the list goes on. If it isn't made from dogcrap, I will likely eat a lot more of them than I should.

6. Carrot Cake - I think this is the king of all weaknesses now. I love carrot cake. Homemade carrot cake. Home...made by my wife...carrot cake. A giant hunk of cake eaten right out of the fridge. I would skip all meals just to eat a great big piece of carrot cake each night.

Is It Worth It?

Sometimes I wonder if something is worth purchasing or investing in. I feel that if I can't arrive at a decently positive answer on my own, then it probably isn't worth it. But, sometimes I can't really tell. So, if you have any take on the following things, please share:

1. Is it worth it to join an alumni network? My school, a large state school, has an annual fee of $40. I guess it buys me something, but I don't see that I'll get much out of an alumni network and I don't see myself needing discounts on lots of school-themed products. Have you gotten good use out such a thing?

2. Is it really worth it to get an MBA, particularly if you are not going to get one from a top tier B-school? I know that I won't be able to go to a premier business school due to family and financial constraints. Besides, I'm not that interested. But, I often wonder if it would be worth it in the long run. If I got an MBA from my local business school, would it really make any difference in my career at this point?

3. Does it really help to join a local running club? I mean, really pay dues and be a moderately active member? Is it all about just meeting new people?

4. Does a AAA membership really ever come in handy? I feel like it is mostly a scam, but I hate the idea of not having it the day when my car dies on the side of the some highway. Or, worse, when the car dies in the process of transporting my wife and kids somewhere.

5. Are certifications that important after a certain point in your career? I'm a project manager of sorts and I sometimes wonder about getting a PMP. But, I just wonder if it will make any difference for me at all. Is it useful or simply something that exists as a checkbox for corporate and government jobs?

DCRRC Paul Thurston 4.5 Mile Race

I decided to try something different last night. I ran a race put on by a local club, in a park near me, in the evening. I figured it would give me some idea what the DCRRC crowd is like and whether I'd want to join. And, I hate missing any races that are just a few miles from my house.

The registration was $5. I got no shirt and the timing isn't exactly perfect, but it was a great, no-frills experience. I showed up within 15 minutes or so of the start, parked, and followed the obvious runners milling about the parking lot to the starting line. A small crowd had gathered, maybe 60 people or so, listening to Ed Grant (President of the DCRRC) say a few words. When I approached him right before race time and asked him who to give the $5 to, he simply held out his hand and that was that. Nice.

As an aside, the DCRRC seems to be mostly populated by odd looking people. I know that is a crappy thing to say and it isn't like I'm freaking Brad Pitt. But, well, what can I say? I saw some ragtag running clothes, some floppy old hairdos, and some of the strangest running styles I've ever witnessed. I guess that is what hardcore looks like when it comes to running.

There was no gun or anything like that. Just a voice saying "GO!" and we did. I glanced at my Garmin and I was running pretty fast in the first part of the race. I felt very strange too. Maybe I was running too hard (6:00-6:30/mi for most of the first mile) because I was dizzy and felt out of sorts. I thought I might puke or pass out or something and I was having difficulty focusing on the fact that I was running. I was a little worried as to what might be going on, but I began to feel more normal as I continued on. I mean normal in the sense that I had my wits and knew what I was doing. Physically, I still felt off. I went from fast and dizzy to an exhausted and progressive slow down until the end of the race, with a finishing pace somewhere around 7:30/mi, I think. The overall pace was 7:22 or 7:23, so maybe I was even slower than that at the end. In any case, I felt increasingly tired and I began to cramp up with a bad side stitch. I keep saying it was a fun race, but I really felt like garbage for most of it. I had no second gear after the first mile or two and just tried to hold on. I kept hoping I'd catch up with the runners in front of me, but I couldn't make up a single foot on them no matter how hard I tried. I just didn't have crap in me.

I did say it was in a park. Did I say that it was mostly on a dirt trail? And that it rained all day and had started to rain again right before the race? You can imagine what happened then. It was a complete mudfest. The trail surface was well packed, so it wasn't too hard to run on or maintain footing. But, there were a lot of soft spots along the edge of the trail and loads of puddles throughout. I quickly gave up trying to jump over them or dash around them and I just started running right through, hoping to not step too deep into the water as I went. My socks and shoes were completely soaked and I could feel the extra weight as I plodded along. My legs were splattered with mud up to my knees and my clothes were pretty damp from the rain and the sweat.

Given the short distance, though, it didn't last too long. As I crossed the finish line, they handed me a blank card and called out my time. I walked over to the back of a Subaru Outback, filled in my name and age, marked my time on the card, and handed it in. Race over. It was kind of cool to not have a ChampionChip or any fancy mats and to just do a race like they used to do it (well, like DCRRC still does).

In the end, I'm somewhat disappointed with my performance, but not the general experience. It was short and fun and I'd do it again.

DCRRC Paul Thurston 4.5 Mile Race
Fairfax Station, VA
August 21, 7:00 PM

Time: 33:15
Gender Place: 26/48
Overall Place: 28/67
Pace: 7:23

All is Right Again

Football will soon begin again. College and Pro, thankfully. And, this year, I've got something to look forward to in both. First, Rutgers has a Heisman candidate in Ray Rice, an All American in Eric Foster, and a shot at the Big East Championship. Heck, they are ranked 16th in the polls, so a BCS berth isn't out of the question. Now, West Virginia and Louisville are going to be monsters, so this is one hard ass hill to climb. But, it should make for an exciting season, one that provides a good follow-up to last year's amazing ride. And, second, the Steelers are in position to rebuild after last season's mess. Big Ben is healthy, Cowher's lazy ass is gone, and the young guys are hungry. Plus, Willie Parker is going to be a superstar, particularly in the new offense (thanks Bruce). The Browns are still a joke, Cincy will be a disappointment again, and the Ravens are getting ready for the nursing home. Ed Reed is stellar, but you have to slap a question mark on every other player on that team. So, while all the pre-season prognostication has them winning the AFC North and all, I think it is far from guaranteed. In fact, while I am quite biased, I think the Steelers actually are better positioned from a talent perspective. The key will be Tomlin. Either he can coach or he can't, but we will soon know the answer.

Update on Running

So, I think I am getting back on track. I dropped my plan, which was really not a plan at all, and have adopted a new one which is solely focused on achieving PRs in my next two races. I am actually going to do a few more than that, but there are two I am focusing my energies on (meaning that I've actually registered for so far). So, the plan is mostly speed building with just a bit of distance in there to prep me for the longer race, the Army Ten Miler. I've got the distance covered since I've been running 10+ on a weekly basis for most of the year. But, it will be good to push the pace a bit over a 10-12 mile distance in prep for this race, something I haven't done much at all this year. I usually just run the longer stuff at 8:45-9:00/mi unless I feel like total crap. So, maybe running it closer to 8:00/mi will be useful, but we'll see how the plan goes.

In any case, I took an Advanced 15k plan from Hal Higdon and am using that. I think Hal's plans are too loose, even the advanced plans, but it is so easy to just take one and start running that I figured it was better to just do that than try to build some custom plan from various sources. Besides, I used Higdon's plan as a base for my marathon plan last year and I was pleased with the overall result. As an aside, I plan on using a Pfitz-style plan for my next marathon. Too many people have had loads of success with Pfitz's methods for me to ignore it.

I ran 5 days straight, something I haven't done in weeks, which is an accomplishment at this point. And, every run was "good". I felt strong during the runs and my speed was at or above where I wanted it to be in each instance. So, I feel positive about where this plan is headed, although it is still rather early. I'll do a 5K test in another week or two as a measure of where I am at and then I'll know how I'm doing. In the meantime, I am going to try and make it to the Paul Thurston 4.5 Miler tonight at Burke Lake Park. It's run by DCRRC and only costs $5, plus it is almost in my backyard (sort of). My only concern is that it is mostly on a dirt trail and it rained a good amount last night. So...how muddy could this race be tonight? My guess is that it will be an absolute slopfest and that I'll be covered in mud, but that might make it all the more fun. I'll slip on the trail shoes and just have at it. If you (as if anyone is reading this) are in the area and don't mind the mess, why not come out around 6:30PM? Race starts at the ice cream joint near the carousel and kiddie train, which is next to the parking lot right behind miniature golf.

Weird Things I Think About

...whenever I eat an apple, I think about the fact that the seeds contain a trace amount of cyanide. I worry about swallowing too many and killing myself and I know about this because they used truckloads of apples to kill a giant blob, which was clearly susceptible to cyanide, on an episode of GI Joe.

...when I pee in a urinal, I always think about climbing up on it. Partly because it would provide a weird new perspective on the bathroom. Partly because I want to see if I can just tear the fucking thing from the wall. And, partly because it is there and just seems meant to be climbed upon.

...when I buy something in a store, I often thing about ways to thwart the security system. So many of them seem so flawed that I am extremely tempted to try and subvert them. I don't want to steal anything; I just want to see if I can fool the system. You know, remove the security tag from the back of the book or try to undo the tag on a pair of jeans. I've read about ways to get around this stuff, like wrapping the tag with foil as a makeshift Faraday Cage, but I've never tried it.

YMCA Loudon County Leesburg 20K

So, this race established a PR for me since I've never run a 20K and this is the only one in the area that I am aware of. I don't know that I'll run this race again, so this performance will stand on its own for a long time.

I find it funny that they always suggest that there will be long lines for packet pick-up the day of the race because I never have any problem at all. Every time I've done it, I've never had to wait behind more than 2 or 3 people. And, I've never not been able to grab a t-shirt in my size. I'd like to pick my stuff up in advance, but driving out to a running store in rush hour traffic on a Friday seems like a big waste of time since I can just get everything the morning of the event. In any case, I say this because I left my house early to get out to Leesburg so that I could grab my packet and not have to wait too long in a big line. Traffic was light, parking was easy, and I was back at the car, sipping my coffee, within five minutes or so.

The crowd was larger than I expected, although I didn't read up on the race and can't say my expectations were in line with reality. A 20K race in Leesburg at 7:30AM in August doesn't sound like an attractive event to me. Of course, I did it. The crowds were not all there for the 20K, though. They run a 10K as well and about half of the runners were doing that instead. And, the folks who ran the 10K were clearly smarter than me. They finished in time to get bananas and to eat the ice cream before it got gotten all runny. That's right. They had ice cream, among other things, as a post race snack. I like the idea, but I don't want freaking ice cream at 9:30AM. I definitely don't want runny ice cream and soggy chocolate wafers that I get to peel out of wet paper. So, I avoided that stuff when I was finished. I did have plenty of water and all that and I drank a Harris Teeter Diet Coke which tasted like carbonated toilet water. Wow, that was some seriously horrible soda.

I felt kind of funny before the race. Funny in a "I have to take a dump, but it might not come out" type of way. So, I stood in line for the PortaJohn with the hope of dealing with it. And, I thought I had. I mean, I certainly felt better afterwards, but it turned out that I was quite done. In any case, I jogged down the block and back as a warmup and elbowed my way through the crowd to a spot in the corral. The race started on time, but they had a water station right before the starting line. So, I stopped and had a cup of water before crossing the mat. I felt a little thirsty and figured it might help out. Then, I was off. We ran a for a short bit through downtown Leesburg, making a circle in some shopping center parking lot, and then headed out on the W&OD trail for the rest of the race. The W&OD trail was pretty cool, for the most part. Heavily shaded, which was really welcome, and I've never run it before, so it was nice to get the chance. It quickly veered off into what seemed like a much more rural area with older homes and farms (or what seemed like farms from what I could tell).

Like all races, the crowd was pretty thick for the first mile or two and I had to do a lot of moving around to get passed the slower runners. I prefer running close to a small group and am always relieved when I reach the point in a race that the crowds have thinned out. I stuck with a general pack for a while on the trail. I'd gain a little on one person, they'd pull away. Someone would come up close and then fall back. I think I was about 100 meters behind the same guy for almost 10 miles of the race. The course seemed like a slow uphill climb for most of the first half. There was a short and fast downhill segment that was just a tease. I ran a little too hard on the downhill and immediately regretted it as I then had to continue my climb until we hit the turnaround. But, the nice thing is that the majority of the return trip was downhill. So, I dropped ten seconds per mile from my pace on the way back, going from what looked like a 7:5x/mi to the eventual 7:42/mi I ran. Around mile 4 or so, I felt like I really had to pee. And, I also felt the beginning warning signs of diarrhea. Now, I wasn't too worried about that since I often get some sort of a cramp that feels like that during a race. And, it wasn't bad enough to concern me. So, I kept running...and the general sensations got worse. And worse. I actually ran off on a side trail to take a leak, but I didn't do a thing about the diarrhea. The cramps got worse and I started to think that I might actually experience the thing I had always joked about: crapping yourself during a run. From mile 8 to mile 12 was basically a race against the poop; a delicate balancing act between running as fast as I could so I could get to the bathroom, but not running so fast that I lost control. it got close, but I made it across the finish without an incident and quickly got that chip off my shoe. From there, I grabbed a bottle of water and carefully made my way back to the PortaJohns to handle my business. Or, maybe, the business handled me. In any case, it was quite a racket and one of those times when you really wish you had a place to wash your hands appropriately.

I used my Garmin during the race. Now, I may have started it too early or something, but it kept hitting the mile marks almost a tenth of a mile before I actually past the marker on the race route. In the end, the Garmin had a few extra tenths of a mile on my overall distance and have me running a pace that was two seconds faster than recorded by the chip. So, I don't know which system is more accurate, but I am not happy about that large a difference. There isn't much I can do about other than to assume that the numbers I see during my training are not quite what I will see during a race. If I run a test 5K in 21:50, maybe I should assume I will run a real 5K in 21:55 or 22:00.

On the way back to the car, some volunteers were just handing out the extra t-shirts. I guess they would rather give them away then keep them and try to sell them for cheap. In any case, I am grateful to have picked up a second t-shirt. Since they were technical shirts, I'm now stocked on tops for running until the temps really drop. I just wish someone would give out shorts or running pants or something like that. I don't have enough of either of those. Hell, I'd take a hat or some socks once in a while too. Of course, corporate logos on socks wouldn't really work out.

Overall, it was a nice enough race, but not so nice or enjoyable that I would be compelled to drive out to Leesburg at 6AM on a Sunday to do it again. Although, to be fair, nicer weather and less gastric distress would have made the whole thing much more pleasant and might have changed my mind.

YMCA Loudon County Leesburg 20K Bib # 563
Leesburg, VA
August 12, 7:30 am

Time: 1:35:40
Gender Place: 119/385
Overall Place: 153/672
Pace: 7:42

No Closer to a Goal

So, at least this week, I've had little success in getting my ass to bed at a normal time, at getting up easily, and at making it out the door for a run. Nothing at all. When I want to get things back on track and I don't, I just feel like a jerkoff. I'm not really impacting anyone other than myself, but it does make me a bit grumpy. I'm not depressed, but I feel shitty about myself today.

I think I am going to take off early and head home for a run before dinner. I need to do something to get started and I'll feel a whole lot better if I know that I can still run 35-40 miles this week. Ugh. 35-40 miles is depressing as well. I had a few weeks above 50 miles, but I've completely crashed. And, with a few races coming and the need to schedule my surgery, I don't know if I'll break the 60 mile mark any time soon.

An Absurd Comparison

It occurred to me last night that the box of Eva's medical records is much bigger than the box of her remains. 1100 pages of paper compared to maybe an ounce or more of ash. And while that seems like an infinitely cruel reminder of what happened, the ratio gives me some hope that her brief life was not simply a useless exercise. Those records bear witness to that.

I'm a Flip Flopper

So, I think I'll start posting again...for now. (Sidelong glances) People might be reading this. And, if I am going to post on other people's blogs, which I am doing with increasing frequency these days, it seems rather unfair to not share and update my own blog.

What I am moved to share tonight is that I have developed some rather bad habits this year and I'm having a great deal of difficulty in ridding myself of them. First, my sleep pattern is completely absurd and entirely untenable given my work and home life. I cannot stay up until midnight or later every night and still get up in the morning before 7AM. Okay, I can do it, but I won't feel rested and I certainly won't have lots of success in getting up earlier than that so I can fit in a run most days. I've always been a bit of a night person, but my pattern has been exaggerated ever since Audrey's stay in the hospital. I had to stay up late every night just to get everything done, but there is no real reason to do it now. Well, except for one, which leads me to my next bad habit.

My diet it also completely out of whack. I had very good control over what I ate last year and only really added a lot of carbohydrates to provide the energy I needed to train for a marathon. I gained a bit of weight after the marathon, in large part due to the fact that I couldn't run much in November. It just took the entire month to recover. By December, I didn't have the weekly mileage to really handle the holiday season's eatings and I had gained some pounds. But, again, when Audrey entered the hospital, I had the freedom to get very restrictive with what I ate and I was able to get down to below 170lbs early this year. My diet was pretty silly, though. I only ate a Balance Bar during the day, followed that up with a light dinner, and then had a big ass bowl of ice cream after Noah was asleep. Not the best way to go, I imagine. And, it didn't get any better after the twins were born. In fact, one of my reactions to the stress of the situation was to basically stop eating. I continued to lose weight, getting down to about 163lbs or so. I felt like crap, of course. I had nausea and dizzy spells, but I just didn't want to eat anything. It was easier to just drink some diet coke or a big coffee and to chew gum all day. After Eva passed away, I started to eat more normally, at least in terms of having normal meals and eating a healthy amount each day. But, my weird nighttime snacking became more exaggerated. And, in an effort to basically mask this snacking, I've continued to stay up until everyone else in the house is asleep so I can eat and not feel as guilty about it. By writing this now, I am outing myself and will hopefully have to deal with what I am doing in a more direct fashion with my wife.

In any case, so I don't sleep and I eat loads of crap at night. And I say that I want to run 60+ mpw or more and that I want to qualify for Boston and all that. But the two things don't mix and I've got to get control or I won't achieve my running goals. I'm just not sure how to start. Wait...maybe wrapping up this post and going to bed would be good. G'night.

Calling it Quits

Since nobody reads this, this post almost doesn't matter. Sometimes when I am online, I surf around other blogs and read other people's posts. Just personal blogs and all. I always come away thinking that most of these folks are amazingly self-obsessed. By nature, blogging is a me-me-me kind of thing and the posts from most of these bloggers are really just a lot of crap. Mountains of posts filled with banal ramblings of mediocre minds. People deluding themselves with New Age garbage and self-help claptrap. Adults typing lies into their laptops and posting them to the web as if the process somehow makes the misaligned hopes and dreams become reality. Some blogs are really amazing, of course. The few who are self-aware and who have the intellect, skill, and reason to craft each post in much the same way they might approach a journalistic effort or writing a novel even. The blogosphere is populated with some very interesting people writing interesting things - new perspectives and insights on life and its varied pursuits. But, the majority? Fucking bumbling idiots.

So, in realizing yet again how stupid most of the blogs are and how my own blog really isn't much better, I am considering a shutdown. Nobody is really reading this, so maybe my own selfish drivel should continue for its own selfish sake. Or, maybe I should just write it in my notebook and keep it to myself. Maybe a movement to not blog will spread and many of these people will simply stop chattering about themselves and their pathetic existences. They can go back to irritating their neighbors and relatives instead.

First Phase of Speed Work

I think I've completed my first full cycle of speedwork. I did hill repeats, 200s, and 400s, alternating the workouts each week for three months now. I tried to do fartlek and tempo runs on the weekends, but I didn't always follow a real plan when it came to those runs. Nevertheless, I think I definitely got some benefit out of all of this. I now need to determine what the best course of action for the rest of this year and the early part of next year is. I found a pretty rigorous 30 week plan that should get me in great shape for the National Marathon, but I'd need to get started on that in a few weeks. Before I do that, I'd like to run a few races to gauge my current capability. I've got a 20K lined up for August and a 5K in September, but I'm not really targeting those in my training other than hoping to get PRs in both. I've run 200 meters in 40 seconds, and 400 meters in 1:30. I'd like to drop those times across the board and I'd like to start including 800s in my speed workouts. I seem to have a tendency to run the second half of a repeat faster than the first part. I do the same thing for many of my runs, although I usually flip that behavior for longer distances. So, for example, when I do 6 or 8 miles, the return trip is usually faster. However, if I run a half marathon or more, the second half is almost always slower. This probably means I need more long distance training, which is something I haven't done much of this summer.

I need to do a race soon. I'm getting antsy not having a recent performance to determine where I'm at in my training. I might run one of the cheap and no-frills 5ks that the running clubs around here hold. $5 or something, no shirt, no ChampionChip timing. But, it will give me competition and provide a good opportunity to just run my ass off for 20 minutes.

I know almost nobody reads these posts, but I don't care. Nobody wants to hear me talk about running, so this is all I've got.

Fantasizing about the Future

I recently read about a woman who turned herself into an Olympic-caliber marathon runner. She wasn't a runner, then ran her first marathon around a 3:45, and then spent the next year training like mad. She dropped an entire hour from her marathon time, getting herself in under the cutoff to qualify for the Olympic marathon trials.

To me, this is simply amazing. To shave an hour off in one year seems absurd. I can't even begin to imagine how she did it other than with massive amounts of motivation and commitment. I can't help but wonder, though, if I'd be able to do something similar. Even if it took two or three years, I wonder if it is possible. I wonder if I have the basic goods in my genetic makeup to turn my body into an Olympic marathon machine. The cutoff for men is 2:22 for Grade "B", so I have serious doubts I'd be able to make it. That would represent cutting an hour and twenty minutes from my current marathon time. I think I'll cut off close to 30 minutes by the time I run another marathon, but I can't be certain about that. And, even if I did, how the heck would I cut the next 50 minutes from my performance?


I'm not sure how much more effort above what I'm putting in now would be required to do something like this. I'm running, or trying to run, six days a week and I'm trying to get to a point where I consistently run 50+ mpw. But, since cracking the 50 mile mark, I've been in a tailspin with my training plans. I crashed and burned for 5 straight days because I just couldn't get my tired ass out of bed. With the extra rest, I did have an awesome track workout this past Saturday, though. But, I followed that up by blowing off my long run on Sunday morning. I made it out for a decent six miles yesterday, but again couldn't get up this morning for my run.

Race Registration

Well, I screwed up a bit and ended up missing the 5K/10K season for the first half of the year. I did one race, but wanted a few more to gauge improvement and I just never registered for any. That just means I'll have to uncork a whopper of a performance on 9/16. That day is the PVI Runfest 5k, a local race billed as the fastest 5K around. I plan on finding out. I'm not sure if it is possible, but I may as well set the bar high for myself - I want to break 21 minutes in a 5K. That would be around a 6:45/mi pace. Wish me luck.

Obsessed with Death

Since Eva's death, I find myself spending inordinate amounts of time thinking about the deaths of other people who are important to me. When I'm in the car or running, times when I am all alone, I can't help but think about my wife and children dying. I think about getting a call from the police because they were in a horrible car accident or of watching my son get hit by a car. During my run this morning, I began to think about the possibility that I would come home to find my son lying dead in his bed. He had a bug bite on his foot yesterday and he had some trouble sleeping last night, so I put the two together and wondered if he hadn't been bit by some poisonous spider or something. I told myself it was a ridiculous thought, but it was there in my head all the same. Needless to say, I was very relieved to hear his breathing the moment I walked into his room.

I think about finding out, I think about how I would feel, I think about what I would have to do. And, I think a lot about how I would move on or not. I don't know what value would be left to my life if something like this happened and I have a very hard time thinking there would be much point in living afterward. Should I just kill myself immediately or wait until I've given them all a proper memorial?

I guess I mostly seem to think about losing all of them. Less than that and it is easy to figure out what to do because there is someone to live for; a reason to go on. It is as if I am trying to figure out what scenarios exist in which it is okay for me to just kill myself, as if I don't really want to be here at all at this point and only stick around due to my responsibilities. I don't think that is true, but I don't know much anymore. I did begin to think that I could find new meaning in my life if I was to do something like run or bike across the country. I don't know if there would be a point, per se, other than to have something to do and to keep me focused on a goal in the future. Thinking about reaching the end of a trip like that might be enough to keep my mind off of the fact that the rest of my would be spent without my family.

iPhone?

iDon'tGiveAShit

Running Update

I haven't run in three days. I've felt crappy each morning and let myself just go back to sleep instead of getting up for a workout. I need to get back to running, though, since I think it might actually make me feel better. I've just some summer cold. It just comes on strong in the evening, wearing me out, and leaves me feeling groggy and exhausted each morning.

I won't hit my goal of a 50+ mile week before the end of June, but I can still try and crank one out next week. This stretch of rest days might actually be a good thing for me in the end. Let the aches and pains go away, get some more sleep, and kick this cold. Then, I can begin the climb to a 65 mile week or more.

Experimentation with Whole Grains

For a long time, I wasn't eating very much in the way of carbohydrates. It was an attempt to lose weight and it worked, particularly coupled with a reduction in fat consumption and increased exercise. But, then, I got into running. And, you just can't run a lot without carbs. You can jog and you can probably do a decent amount of mileage, but you can't rack up the miles on a weekly basis if you don't eat enough fuel in the form of carbohydrates. I learned this in a rather uncontrolled manner last year. As I trained for a marathon, I found that I just couldn't stop eating. I had cravings every night, particularly for sweets like cookies and cake. And, I ate it all. This has never really stopped, although I am slowly trying to shift my carb intake to healthier carbs as much as possible. Hence, this post about whole grains. I am not that crazy about eating rice or pasta, but those are good foundations for lots of meals. And, my wife and son like them both. So, I can't avoid them. But, as a family, we can avoid refined sugars and overly processed wheat and still get plenty of carbs and plenty of flavor by buying and cooking whole grain. So, we've started experimenting and trying out some recipes. So far, we've had quinoa, wheatberry, and some crazy seven grain pilaf thing. I guess it had lots of different things including wheatberry, bulger, and a few others. Of those that we've eaten so far, I have been very pleased.

Quinoa - strange looking and needs a bit of prep in that you have to soak it. But, it has a very nice texture, works well with a variety of flavors, and can be used in a lot of dishes. It is similar to couscous, in my opinion.

Wheatberry - very tasty, but not as accessible as some other grains. Hard outer coat and I'm afraid of what would happen if we cooked it too long. It is cheap, though. And, it does have a nice texture that can provide a good complement to some kinds of food.

Buckwheat - we've eaten buckwheat as part of a kasha dish. Kasha Varnishkas is wonderful, but I don't know what else we'd do with buckwheat. I like the funky shape of the grain and the fact that it is chewy. All it really needs is a bit of onion and some salt and it can be very enjoyable.

Bulger - have had this in some traditional stuff, but we haven't cooked with it yet. It is sitting on the shelf waiting for its moment to shine.

Spelt - we've never tried this one, but I just picked up a box today. It looks a lot like wheatberry.

I'll add more notes as we continue down this road.

Best Interview Ever

This is an email from back in March 2005. I wrote it right after this happened...

I've been looking for a new job lately. My current employer is being acquired and my manager has resigned, so it is time for me to move on. And, for those who are wondering, this will constitute the sixth job I’ve had since college, none lasting more than 30 months.

I had an interview this morning that lasted for over four hours. I assume that it will turn out to be positive, but I honestly don’t know. The setup for the interview is that I’ve got one long interview in which I am going to be meeting with multiple people. First one was with a senior executive in the company and seemed to go very well. He was easy to talk to, I had relatively coherent answers to his questions, and I got the sense that he liked me. On to the next interview, this time with the executive who oversees the group I would be joining. Much older guy than I normally meet; probably in his sixties, but could just be that he drinks too much and spends a lot of time in the sun. He starts the interview by saying that the whole interview is going to be me asking him questions. I wasn’t sure if it was a sign that he is simply an overaggressive type who wants to challenge me or if he just has no idea what to ask me. I paused for a moment since I really wasn’t sure how to proceed and then I start asking him questions. First question I ask, his response is “Oh, that is a very good question…a very good question” leading me to believe that this guy just doesn’t know what to ask me. We go back and forth, me asking the questions and him responding with generalities and non-answers. He wasn’t being vague for the purpose of secrecy; I think he just couldn’t formulate a thoughtful, professional response to anything I asked him.

At one point, the tables turn and he is actually asking me the questions. I am talking a fair amount and when I finish answering what seems to be his last question to me, I ask if I can continue to interview him. He pauses and just looks at me for several seconds. His face seems pained and a little red, but it wasn’t that different than how he had looked for the majority of the interview. Then he says:

“Hmmm. I’ve gotta piss real bad.”

I say, “Okay, I’ll wait.”

He then continues to simply sit in his chair, directly across from me. I have no idea what is going on, but I keep wondering why he isn’t just getting up and going to the freaking bathroom. While I am waiting, he continues to make strange faces and look down at his crotch. Every few seconds, he grunts or moans or makes a faint noise that suggests displeasure with himself. Then he says:

“I’m sorry, dude. I pissed my pants.”

I’m dumbfounded. Be sure, this is not a joke. This shit absolutely, positively happened to me. So, this guy sits there with his wet pants on, apologizing to me about the whole deal. I suggest he use his jacket to cover himself so he can get to the bathroom with some dignity. In his attempts to deal with this situation, he says things like “It’s my prostate” and “This happened to me on an airplane once and that was really horrible”. I try to make him feel better and say “It’s cool, man. I know what its like.”

Of course, I have no fucking clue what it’s like to piss your pants in public, let alone in the workplace while conducting an interview. I’ve certainly laid some unbelievably foul farts at work, but that never stained my pants.

Then, he stands up, shows me the damage by highlighting it with his hands, takes his jacket, and goes to the bathroom. I just sit there, fumbling to try and deal with what just happened. All I can think is that my interview is shot because this dude will never be able to think of me without thinking about the fact that he wet himself. And, he can’t let me get hired because I am the only witness to this little episode.

He comes back, puts his jacket on the chair, and again shows me the wet spot, which is now larger for some reason. He sits down and we continue the interview - no lie. At the end, he again makes an apology.

To which I say “At least you’ll remember this interview.”

He then responds with “It’s not like you made me piss my pants. This had nothing to do with you.”

The end result of this encounter is that I am seated next to him in my last interview of the day, an unexpected opportunity to talk to the CEO of the company. Mr. LooseBladder, who went home to change his pants, is basically acting like my best friend in front of the CEO, patting me on the back, praising my interview with him, and all sorts of extra friendly behavior. He ends up escorting me out of the office, shakes my hand a number of different times, tells me I did a great job, and apologizes one last time.

I’ll let you all know what happens next if anything. If they hire me, this has to be one of the greatest coworker stories of all time. Assuming he is still there when I join them.