Long Time...Again

I have yet again gone through a huge lapse in blogging. I don't think anyone reads this, so it shouldn't really matter. But, even if nobody comes here, this does provide me a place to try and hold myself accountable. And, I have some things to account for again.

Oh, and this will bore you if you have heard anything I've said in the past. I'm back on the running and weight and health thing, something I never seem to really get right for an extended period of time.

This coming weekend is the Suntrust National Marathon. I signed up months and months ago with the intent to run this sucker fast enough to qualify for Boston. In order to be able to do it, I was running a lot. I ran last Spring, last Summer, and into the Fall and I did more and more and more, week over week. I was running more miles and faster miles, at least on a consistent basis, then I had in the past. And, I felt like I was going to be able to pull off my goal, assuming that my actual marathon training went as I hoped it would. And, as always seems to be the case when I push things pretty hard, I blew up. I ran 13 miles on a Friday and started to get some pain in my left hip. But, while it hurt, it didn't hurt so much that I could run or walk, so I kept training. That Saturday, I ran 8 miles or something like that and it still hurt. But, like a lot of the aches and pains I've had as a runner, it loosened up and improved as I ran, so I never thought it could be all that bad. It still hurt when I woke up on Sunday, but I kept going and ran another 15 miles on it that night. The hip hurt the whole damn time, but it did not get worse during the run. The next morning when I got up for work...well...the hip decided it had had enough. The pain was so bad I could not put my pants on properly. Any pressure on the joint was a real problem. And, I had a fairly bad limp caused by what had become persistent pain. That lasted a whole week. It was better the next week, but a test run made it clear that it still hurt a lot. All of this happened right before Thanksgiving and I haven't really recovered since. On Turkey Day, I weighed 166lbs. Today, I weight 178lbs. Prior to Turkey Day, I was running 70+ miles a week. Today, I ran 6 miles in the gym and haven't had a single week of 40 miles or more since the injury. It took two months for my hip to heal and as soon as I started running again, I got sick. So, I lost a week and a half of running due to a bad cold that knocked me for several days. Then, I started to slowly get into the swing of things again, only to get another cold that was as bad as the first. And, upon seeing a doctor, I found out that I had bronchitis. That was two weeks ago and today was the first time I ran. So, instead of spending the past four months training for a marathon, I've spent three of them doing no running at all. I knew the marathon was not going to happen after the injury, so I switched to the half marathon. But, given the past few weeks, I don't think I can even handle that. Needless to say, this is really fucking depressing.

Every time my running is going well, I get stupid. I ignore my body, run too much, and skip out on sleep. I push it until something gives and when it does, I don't listen, which only makes the situation worse. So, here I am, heavier, slower, and no closer to my goal of making it to Boston. If anything, I'm further from that goal since I've lost a lot of the progress I made in 2009. And, while all the treats I've eaten since Thanksgiving were great, they don't make me feel any better right now.

So, what to do? Get back on the horse and start again. Which is what I hope today's run can signify. Today's run and today's eating and vitamin-taking and sleeping and all of that. If I can have one good day, then I can have another. And, if I can get two, then I can easily make it three or four. You can see where this is going, of course. One foot in front of the other, day by day, and I'll find myself back where I hope to be. When exactly? I'm not sure. I need to do some work to figure out what it will really take to get back on track and to qualify for Boston. But, what I know right now is that I'll be closer to that goal by a day if I start right now.