Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Gaining Some Perspective

I can't sleep much and I think my health has been suffering a bit due to the amount of stress I'm dealing with these days. Work, the kids, etc. Sometimes it helps to put things in perspective, though. It occurs to me that my life is "better" in the basic, measurable qualities than almost every person on the planet. In the vacuum of the upper income suburbs of a major American city, it seems like this life is only average. But, it isn't. It might be what we've all come to expect, but almost nobody else has a shot at this life. And, even more absurd is that my life is appreciably "better" than the life experienced by almost every other human being ever born. More security, more leisure time, better long-term health, longer life, better education, etc. Perfect? No. Any happier? Maybe not. Less that is worth worrying about? Yes, and that is my point.

It doesn't make me feel any better, really, but at least I tried.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Lost Focus

I haven't run in a few weeks now. Long story, but my right knee didn't seem to like me very much. So, I've bagged on races, including a marathon this coming weekend, and I'm beginning to feel aimless all the time. If I don't have a set schedule, I just kind of mess around. I wish I could get back on the roads again. It has kept me sane over the past year and I feel like my head is awash in confusion and exhaustion without it. I find myself thinking about Eva more now and I don't have an outlet for what I am feeling.

I need to be distracted again. Anything.

Monday, April 28, 2008