Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Mid-Year Resolutions

I think I need to come out with these since I'm not sticking to them without any sense of external pressure. So, I want to achieve the following things:

1. Stop drinking diet soda. More specifically, avoid everything with artificial sweeteners. I've been pretty good about this the past few weeks. It has been almost three weeks since I last had a Diet Coke, so I feel good about this. I used to drink that stuff like water, but I don't miss it at all.

2. Stop chewing gum. More specifically, stop chewing lots of gum each day. I did this as a way to avoid eating, which was fine when I was actively trying to lose lots of weight. But, now I do it to the point of making my jaws ache. This too has been a successful resolution the past few weeks. I stopped buying gum entirely and haven't chewed a piece since I had my last Diet Coke.

3. Go to bed at a normal time. Right, well, this is where I start to fail. I'm tired all the time except when it seems time to go to sleep. I doze in the car, I'm exhausted in the afternoons, and I feel like I have no energy at the end of the day. Yet, I seem to be wide awake at 11PM and so I take the opportunity to do dumb crap that is of no benefit to me or anyone else. Like, reading crap on Wikipedia about Colonial Virginia or obsessing about my fantasy baseball team. I would be better off in a number of ways if I simply read a book and went to bed at 11PM. And I need to do this or I'm going to continue to have both health and mood issues. I wouldn't be sick right now if I got more sleep. I wouldn't be testy with the kids if I got more sleep. I wouldn't find it hard to get to the gym if I had more sleep. I'd be more focused at work if I had more sleep. Right, you get the picture.

4. Stop snacking late in the evening. This is the dumbest thing of all. Part of the reason I stay up is so that I sneak to the kitchen or the laundry room and have my fill of bad carbs. I'm embarrassed at the number of boxes of cookies and cereal that I've eaten through in the past few months. So, I don't sleep so that I can stay up and eat crap that does me no good other than to make me fat. It is a by-product of my heavy running for most of the past year or so, but it doesn't make it any better. I needed the carbs then, but I don't right know. And since my running has been almost non-existent, all I've done is gain weight in the process. There is nothing more depressing to a former fatzo than to realize that you've lost control and started to gain the weight back. I've been at 175 pounds or less for over two years now. Sure, i fluctuate, but I've had it under control for the most part. This is the most I've gained back in that time period and the shittiest that I've felt about it. So, this late night snacking must end. It was never a good idea and now my body simply can't handle it. The kicker to this behavior is that I eat all this crap, can't digest it before I do fall asleep, and wake up in the morning with indigestion. Not too bright, eh?

So, I'm good on two and bad on the other two. I need to get straight with all of them. I'm taking it easy on the running and progressing well, but the weight gain and lack of sleep will override any gains I make. I need to get this under control again. If you read this, hold me to it.