Friday, August 17, 2007

Weird Things I Think About

...whenever I eat an apple, I think about the fact that the seeds contain a trace amount of cyanide. I worry about swallowing too many and killing myself and I know about this because they used truckloads of apples to kill a giant blob, which was clearly susceptible to cyanide, on an episode of GI Joe.

...when I pee in a urinal, I always think about climbing up on it. Partly because it would provide a weird new perspective on the bathroom. Partly because I want to see if I can just tear the fucking thing from the wall. And, partly because it is there and just seems meant to be climbed upon.

...when I buy something in a store, I often thing about ways to thwart the security system. So many of them seem so flawed that I am extremely tempted to try and subvert them. I don't want to steal anything; I just want to see if I can fool the system. You know, remove the security tag from the back of the book or try to undo the tag on a pair of jeans. I've read about ways to get around this stuff, like wrapping the tag with foil as a makeshift Faraday Cage, but I've never tried it.

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