Post-procedure report

So, good news is that I don't have colitis any longer. It was just an acute bout, most likely brought on by a stomach bug that I caught from Noah (goddamn kids...nothing but disease carriers). Maybe we should change Noah's middle name to Pestilence. They did find two polyps, though, so I need to make one more visit to the gastroenterologist. Chances are that it is nothing at all, and even is if it is something...there is no automatic link between polyps and cancer. But, as I am finding out, there is family history with GI problems, like Crohn's Disease, and intestinal cancer. So, I'll just have to stay in good health and get checked out regularly.


The best part of the whole experience was the anesthetic they gave me. I have no idea what it is called, but it metabolizes quickly. So, they put you out, do a quick procedure, and you are waking up in the recovery room in no time at all. I don't think it was even 30 minutes from when they wheeled me into the operating room to when I started to wake up. The stuff worked very, very fast. I felt a sensation of cold going up my arm from the saline wash that you get first. I turned to the anesthesiologist and asked if the stuff was going in. It hadn't started yet, but she showed me a syringe with some opaque white liquid. I didn't even notice that she had injected it into the IV feed, but I was suddenly overcome with a very strong lightheadedness, to which I remember saying something like "Oh, I guess this is it". Next thing I know, a nurse is asking me my name and I'm coming to in the recovery room. She asks me if I prefer Dave or David and I respond with "My mother calls me David...or Audrey when she's mad at me". Mind you, I have not regained full control of myself yet, so the filters that are normally in place have not been reestablished. I was talking loudly, at least that is what Audrey says, and I was being rather wacky. I think I was talking to Audrey when I said "I wanted to say that my name is Assface...and that feces shoots out of my mouth when I sing". Yeah, that sounds nuts. It is something I picked up from an SNL skit a few years ago when Jon Stewart was the host.

In any case, getting sick can be fun.