iPod Saga, Part Three

So, while waiting to hear back from Dena, I get the RMA and shipping information from a new person, Lindsey. Maybe Dena is the "bad" cop and Lindsey is the "good" cop?

Hi,
Sorry you are having problems with your unit and for
any inconvenience this has caused you.  Please follow
these instructions to return the item safely to us.

1.  Please package the item with all accessories
(ac adapter/power cord, CDs, instruction manuals, etc)
in the original packaging.  If the plastic wrap has
been broken, please use bubble wrap and/or foam peanuts
to make sure the item is securely packaged.  Please
note that you are responsible for any damage incurred
during the return shipment due to insufficient
packaging.

2.  Please send the item to:
    MobilePC
    Attn: RMA #
    10225 Barnes Canyon Rd Suite A112
    San Diego, CA 92121

Make sure to include a detailed description of
the problem you have been nencountering.

3.  Please note that this RMA is only valid for
2 weeks.  If your unit is not received back within
2 weeks, this return authorization will be cancelled,
voiding any future warranty coverage through MobilePC.

4.  Print and attach your FedEx return label to your
unit and ship back to us.  Please notify us when you
have sent it out, so we can know when to expect it.

5.  Please allow us a few days to review your item
and duplicate the problem.  If possible, we will
repair the item and return it to you.  If unable to
repair the unit, we will replace it.  If we do not have
any units to replace the defective one, we will issue
a refund.  (If we are not given the opportunity to
repair or replace the unit, we charge a 25% restocking
fee as stated in the auction listing.)

6.  If you would like a replacement unit sent prior to
returning the original, please send us payment for the
full value of the unit.  We will send a replacement unit
out to you once payment has been received.  When we receive
the original unit, we will refund the amount in full.
If unit has been damaged during shipment:

7.  Please make sure to keep all original packaging.
If possible take digital pictures of the damage.  We will
give you instructions on how to file a damage claim with
FedEx.  If you have any other problems or questions,
feel free to contact us.

Thanks
MobilePC

So, I print out the label and figure I can package the iPod up and send it back the following day. Before I get around to doing that, I get another message from Dena and she addresses the Paypal dispute again:

Hello David,

We apologize for the confusion. As you mentioned, the
hold is on the transaction, not the account. While the
transaction is on hold, Paypal has taken the funds
from our account so we currently do not have payment
for this item. However, I am going to issue you a RMA
#DS062906 and a return shipping label so that the item
can be returned to us on our account. The return
shipping label will be sent to your email address.
Simply print out the label, attach it to the package
and drop it off at your nearest FedEx location or
dropbox.  Be sure to package the item securely. We
will ship a replacement after receiving the defective
item; the only thing we request is that you end your
buyer dispute prior to shipping out the replacement.
Please let us know if this is acceptable.

Thank you,
Dena
MobilePC

They still want me to close the dispute prior to any real action on their part. Again, they are giving me an RMA and taking care of shipping, but that is a few extra dollars to them and doesn't exactly compare with the cost of sending me another iPod. Maybe they are just concerned that I am going to stiff them somehow, maybe get Paypal to refund my money while I actually keep the device or something. I guess it is possible to do something like that, but I don't know how effective it would be. And, frankly, I don't know why they continue to choose to not communicate with me through Paypal's dispute process. I can't help but think they want to keep their requests for closure outside of Paypal's purview so it doesn't negatively impact them if we can't resolve this. So, I responded with this:

Dena,

I appreciate what you are requesting and that you are
working with me to resolve this.  But, I have some
concerns about how things have gone so far and I do
not understand why you require me to close the Paypal
dispute.  You have issued an RMA and covered the
shipping expenses, both of which certainly suggest
that you have every intention of honoring your
exchange/return policy.  But, you must know that if I
close the dispute, I have no avenue for recourse
whatsoever.  So, if I do as you ask and then ship the
device, you can collect the funds, never send me a
replacement, and there will be nothing I can do other
than submit negative feedback on eBay, something that
will do nothing to get my money back or to get me a
working iPod.

I will be happy to close the dispute once I've
received a working iPod, but I do not see any valid
reason to do so beforehand.

Sincerely,
Dave

And I haven't heard a peep since yesterday afternoon. I am going to ship the device back because it is no good to me and I am confident that I will be able to resolve this, one way or another, through Paypal. But, I don't think this story is finished yet.

iPod Saga, Part Two

If you are just joining me on this trip, you should probably scroll down and read the prior post to put the following exchange in context.

Within 20 minutes of filing a dispute claim with Paypal, I hear from the seller:

Hello,
We apologize for any inconvenience.  We will gladly
replace your iPod.  We will email you a shipping label
which will cover the cost of return shipping.  Simply
print out the label, attach it to the package and drop
it off at your nearest FedEx location or dropbox.  Be
sure to package the item securely, as any damage
caused during shipping will be your responsibility.
As soon as we receive the defective item we will ship
out a replacement.  For future reference, your RMA# is
DS062806.

Thank you,
Dena
MobilePC

I assume that this email was spurred by having filed the claim, but it sure sounds like they are proactively responding to my original request to the support team, doesn't it? Note that they are choosing to email me directly and to not post messages through Paypal, something Paypal suggests so that there is documented evidence of dispute resolution. Not surprisingly, 12 minutes after this first message, I get the following:

Hello,

According to our records you have a Paypal hold on
your account. You will need to cancel the dispute
before we can issue you a replacement. Please let us
know when you have removed the dispute and we will
then issue you a return shipping label for the
defective iPod.

Thank you,
Dena
MobilePC

Interesting timing, huh? It almost looks as if they were responding to me independently and in the process of taking care of the issue, they realized that I had filed a dispute. Of course they couldn't be staging this process, right? They issued an RMA, but didn't give me a method for actually sending the device back yet. So, I have just enough to feel like this is being taken care of, but I can't actually get it taken care of yet. So, I respond back:

Dena,

There is no hold on the account.  I filed a dispute
with Paypal regarding this purchase.  You, as in
MobilePC, should have received notice not that long
ago.  In fact, you emailed me not long after I filed
the dispute, so I assumed you were contacting me in
response to the dispute itself.

In any case, I don't see any reason why I should close
the dispute until you have satisfactorily resolved it.
I appreciate that you are willing to replace the
device, but I don't have an RMA, have not yet shipped
the device back, and obviously haven't received a
working device.  Closing the dispute prior to getting
a working device cuts off the only method I have for
effectively resolving this issue.

If you are unwilling to process an exchange while the
dispute is open, I am happy to forward this
information to Paypal and request an investigation to
settle the matter.  I would prefer to simply get the
RMA, send the device to you, and get the exchange,
though, and be able to update Paypal that I am
satisfied.

Sincerely,
Dave

And, now I wait. Let's see if there is a FedEx shipping label or if they tell me to shove it. I realize now that I did have the RMA, but that doesn't help me much, does it?

iPod Saga, Part One

A while back, I posted about how our 40GB 4th Generation iPod died and how I couldn't find a good solution to replace or repair it. Well, after looking around and researching prices, we figured that the best option was to eBay a used iPod. I wanted to just replace the hard drive in the 40GB, but getting a new hard drive was more expensive than getting a used 20GB iPod. And, since the hard drive specs have changed for each model, it wasn't going to be that easy to get a drive that I could be sure would fit properly in the iPod we currently owned.

After watching the market for a few weeks and losing several bids, we scored a used 20GB 4th Generation iPod for $112.50, plus an additional $15 for shipping and handling. The auction listing actually said "Apple iPod" and the item description stated "Apple iPod Fourth Gen. (20 GB, MAC/PC - M9282LL/A) MP3 Player". I include this because while it is all loosely true, it isn't exactly true. What showed up was an HP-branded iPod with an entirely different serial number. If I had known that, I wouldn't have bought it since it requires some effort to reformat and restore the device so that it will work with a Mac, a hassle I don't need.

We did try to use it, though. But, it was pretty clear that the device was shot from the beginning. The usual error messages, the dreaded folder icon on the iPod, the Mac having no idea what this thing is and usually not seeing it at all. I tried to make it work, but the hard drive made clicking sounds from the moment we touched it...not a good sign.

So, after trying for a few days, I contacted the support department of the eBay seller, a seller who states a 30 day repair/exchange/refund policy. About a day and a half passes with no answer back. So, in looking for other options for resolving this, I realize I can file a dispute with Paypal. And, that is exactly what I did. In the dispute claim, you can send the seller a message. So I sent this:

Hello,

I recently received a 20GB "used" iPod from you guys,
MobilePC.  What I did not know when I purchased the
device was that it was an HP iPod and not an "OEM"
Apple iPod.  If I had known this was an HP model or
one originally intended for use with a Windows PC, I
would not have purchased the device.  I only own a Mac
and plan to use this iPod with a Mac.  Trying to
switch the iPod to work with a Mac voids the
manufacturer's warranty, assuming that there is any
time left on that warranty in the first place.

Despite this, I did try to find a way to make it work
with my Mac.  The moment I turned it on, I got the
folder icon suggesting that something was wrong.  And,
more ominous was the audible clicking sound and the
feeling of the hard drive needle moving rather harshly
inside the device when I tried to use it.  I believe
that the hard drive is likely bad in this device,
something I am familiar with having had my previous
40GB iPod's hard drive die on me.

I would like to either have this device repaired with
a good hard drive, exchanged for a working iPod that
is native to Mac, or I would like my money refunded to
me.  If I have to ship this back to you, I don't think
it is fair that I have to pick up the shipping tab
twice.  I paid to have this iPod sent to me the first
time in what turned out to be less than stellar
condition.  I don't think I should have to pay to have
it returned to working condition, something that was
guaranteed in the auction.

Thank you,
Dave

And, in the next few posts, I'll share with you the back and forth responses...

First Loves

I think Noah has fallen in love for the first time. And with an older, married woman. Audrey's friend, Kate, came to visit this week and Noah has been absolutely beside himself with interest and affection for her. I can't explain it, other than she is a great person and good with kids. Maybe he has a thing for blondes.

We've never seen him so interested in someone. He has been acting out, in a sense, since she arrived. He has been excited and loud and totally engaged. He wanted to show Kate all his favorite things, wanted her to follow him around, and made a point of telling her all his likes and dislikes. The whole experience has been amazing, but I hope he isn't going to be depressed when he gets home tonight and realizes that Kate is gone and that he won't see her again for some time.

We'll have to get him a girlfriend in the neighborhood.

The Latest Boundary Crossing

One of the measuring sticks we seem to use as parents is to recognize certain boundaries that Noah has yet to cross. That is, we note that there is a line of some form that he hasn't yet gone past. It might be a fear that he conquers or a place he can't yet reach. Or, not getting out of bed and leaving his room despite the fact that there is nothing physically stopping him. After the conversion of his crib to a toddler bed, we figured he'd bust through that line immediately, but he didn't. Visions of Noah standing next to our bed in the middle of the night, or going into the kitchen to get a drink of water from the refrigerator, or falling down the stairs in the dark immediately popped into my head. But, he gave us no reason to worry until recently. First, he sneaks up on me at 5:45AM while I am getting ready to go out for a run. I'm just about to leave and there he is, just standing at the top of the stairs. I took him back to his room, got him settled and back to sleep, and left without any trouble. But, now I think we are cooked. We all slept in this morning, or so I thought. Around 6:45AM, I heard Noah talking, but it sounded like his usual sleepy calls for help finding his binky. He can find it himself and once he does so, he goes back to sleep. I closed my eyes, but woke up about 15 minutes later and got in the shower. Neither Noah, or anyone else for that matter, seemed to be awake. After the shower, I open the bathroom door to peak at the alarm clock to check the time. And, there he is, just standing next to our bed, patiently and quietly waiting for Audrey to wake up.

"Hi Daddy. I'm awake."

Yes, he is...more every day, it seems.

Landlocked, Yet Drowning

Here in Fairfax, we have lots of lakes and some small creeks or "runs" as they are called in these parts, but no major bodies of water. I guess the Potomac isn't too far or the Rappahanock either. In any case, though, not something that means one should be too concerned about floods. Except when the skies open up and won't stop dumping water out on us. We have had somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 inches of rain since last Thursday. This is just getting absurd. A good morning is one in which I don't have to bring my bags of lawn clippings back from where they floated the night before.

I Lost the Battle, but I Will Win the War

I mowed the lawn last night. Normal occurence, usual effort. Actually, it was quick this time, but I don't know exactly why. In any case, it turns out that we have a nest of yellowjackets living in a hole in the front part of our lawn. I aroused them during the mowing. I didn't see them, made my first pass, and clearly pissed them off. Then, because I am rather stupid, I thought it would be a good idea to run the nest over again, since a giant spinning blade should be able to kill any of them that tried to get out. Besides, it is my lawn and I'm not going to concede anything to them. Yeah, well, that second pass ended in me running into the street, cursing from the sting I had just gotten on the back of my right leg.

I left them alone the rest of the night, but I will soon pay them a visit with death on my mind.

Strange Disappearances

So, I leave the house for a run at 6AM this morning. Sitting on the stoop, tying my shoelaces, I drink about half of a sports drink before taking off. I'm gone a bit over an hour.

When I come back, there is a flyer stuff into the handle of our front door for some housecleaning service. I go in and get on with coffee making, breakfast eating, and all the getting ready for work and taking Noah to daycare stuff. As I'm getting ready to leave, I realize that the sports drink is still out on the porch. But it isn't. It has vanished. So, someone put a flyer in my door some time between 6 and 7AM this morning and thought it would be perfectly reasonable to take my half-used sports drink off my hands. Audrey thought maybe they were just cleaning up, but it wasn't in our garbage can.

Would you take a used drink from some stranger's porch and drink it? Would you use a cleaning service that employs people who would?

And So It Begins...

Noah has been rather "bossy" lately. Clearly, he recognizes his verbal abilities and how well he can communicate with us. And, he has a good understanding of many of the nuances and intricacies of language. Add to this the fact that he is becoming very aware of himself in terms of age and relation to other people and you get an interesting mix.

He tells me what to do on a regular basis. Like not to sing with his music or to drive the silver car instead of the red car. The other night, while Audrey is working at the sink and Noah is getting a head start on dinner, I take a moment to replace the lighbulbs in one of the lights in the kitchen. Not a big deal, really. I finish the job and am replacing the light fixture when Noah says "Good job, Daddy".

Just what I need...another person in my house commenting on everything I do.

Talent Kills

I was just wondering why all the great music artists, at least the ones I really like, have to die. Some of the most amazing stuff I have ever heard was made by people that died, either by drugs or suicide or a combination. Hendrix, Elvis, Jeff Buckley, Elliot Smith. Sure, they aren't all in the same category, but my list of favorite artists or albums would be rife with dead people.

How come people like Britney Spears or Toby Keith don't die "young"? Is it that the truly talented have too much and it kills them? Is it that whatever is the source of their creativity is also the source of whatever it is that drives them to behavior that kills them? Kind of like how genius always seems to be separated from insanity by a paper thin margin. Maybe we aren't meant to be very smart or creative or interesting as a species. That would at least explain why the planet is largely populated with halfwits and bores.

What Did You Do?

A lot of people have asked me how I lost all the weight, but there is no simple answer. I didn't get surgery or get shipped off to some fat camp for the summer. I just had to work at it, day after day. But, there are some things I've learned and that I would tell anyone who wanted to lose weight and get in shape.

1. There is no easy solution. Period. You will have success and failure. You will wake up some days and not care and have other moments when you feel great about yourself and your progress. You won't lose weight as fast as you want and you won't always have the self-control you need, but you can still meet your goals. I lost 90 pounds by staying motivated, re-committing myself to losing weight every few months, and to being open to trying different strategies to accomplish my goal. I did South Beach, Atkins, Weight Watchers, and all sorts of wacky diets I invented on my own (like the eat a Balance Bar and then starve yourself until dinner diet). If you want to make it, you just have to keep working at it.

2. Near term and achievable goals were a big key for me. Originally, I had wanted to get down to 200 pounds. But, to stay motivated, I set near term goals for myself. I would work to lose weight in 10-15 punds increments and then ease up when I hit each goal. It allowed to shoot for something I could achieve in a short period of time, which meant that I didn't have to work at it for too long a period of time without any gratification. Then, I'd get "sick" of being that weight and push on to the next goal. This strategy ultimately led me to push back my final weight loss goal from 200 to 185 to 175 pounds. This was particularly helpful the longer I worked at weight loss since it became increasingly hard to lose weight. It is not that hard to lose 15 pounds when you are 265, eat garbage all the time, and don't exercise. Some very basic changes can make a huge difference. When you are 200, eating healthy, and working out fairly regularly, you need to have a pretty serious approach to drop another 25 pounds, not to mention some extra patience. So, break up your weight loss into shorter term goals and just focus on making it through the next 10-15 pounds.

3. The only real solution is diet AND exercise. Diet alone or exercise alone just won't get all the wight off or help you to keep it off. I lost a fair amount of weight by basically dieting, but I had to starve myself fairly often just to keep it going. I got sick of that. I needed to incorporate exercise to lose the last 35-40 pounds. And, as a result, I also had to eat more (my hunger became unavoidable) and I had to learn how to eat more without sabotaging myself. So, eating more didn't mean loads of any food I wanted, but meant increasing my intake of healthy options in proportion to each other and in moderation. And, I also let myself enjoy more treats (okay, so I basically didn't eat any when I was in serious dieting mode).

4. Drink water. It sounds simple, and it is, but it makes a huge difference. I probably drink between 75-100 ounces of water a day. At the same time, I've cut back on how much coffee I drink, from 5-6 cups to 3-4, and I will never drink any soda that isn't a diet soda. One can of Coke is 150 calories. Think about that for a moment. One 12 ounce can of Coke is 150 calories. And it has no nutritional value whatsoever. There is absolutely no good reason to ingest that stuff when it is simply sugar water. Is a can of Coke worth running a mile and a half? Is it worth getting on an elliptical machine for 20-30 minutes? Right, I didn't think so.

5. Eat your veggies. And fruits too. Vegetables are more important, though, since they carry a great deal of the vitamins and minerals that we need and don't bring along nearly the same amount of sugar with them. Fruits are great and have a lot of cancer-fighting agents, not to mention fiber, but they all have some degree of sugar. If you eat 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, but eat them all as fruit, you are ingesting a much larger amount of sugar than if you balance your fruit intake with more vegetables. Same amount of food, less sugar, and more variety. I eat all kinds and try to mix it up regularly. You'd be amazed at how easy it is to eat all the vegetables you need.

6. Whatever you are doing, it has to be for the long haul. The changes in your eating habits and level of activity should be changes that you are willing to accept as part of your life...for the rest of your life. I always think about the fact that I spent my 20s as a fat slob and that I wasted those years. Yes, I had a lot of great times. I fell in love, got married, started a family, bought a home...sure. But, I never wanted to go anywhere because I spent ten years feeling like crap all the time. I wasn't able to enjoy myself and the opportunities that I had, both work and personal, because I was overweight. So, for me, it is easy to commit to making life changes because I never want to go back. I pissed away a good chunk of my life as an unhappy lardass who ate anything he wanted and indulged himself all the time. I don't plan on doing that any more.

7. You have to pick an exercise that focuses on fat burning. The majority of your effort should be on some aerobic activity so that you can drop the weight and build up a general level of fitness. I think women probably benefit from weight training more than men do, but I've seen some men who have horrible muscle tone and need to pick up a dumbell. And, once you've lost most of the weight, you should really shift your exercise to something that you enjoy and that will give you the kind of body you want. If you really like lifting and want to be a beefcake, go for it. Me...I spent so much of my life "husky" that I want to be lean. So, I stick with running with a bit of lifting just to take care of my core and upper body. Weight lifting bores me, but I love running and don't want to ever stop doing it.

I'll share more stuff in the near future, like what I do when it comes to ordering food at restaurants. That is, assuming that anyone cares to hear about this stuff. I guess I'll just post and then everyone can complain.

Capitol Hill Classic 10K

Great race, rather ridiculous weekend. When I signed up for this race, it was because Jon was coming down for some show at the 9:30 Club. Some gay stuff he thought he heard on Sirius, but it turned out to be really fruity stuff that he hadn' t even heard before. I think he might have enjoyed himself if he had gone seeing as how the place probably would have been packed to the rafters with teenage girls, but I guess he was more interested in seeing if the folks in DC can measure out a race course properly. Anyways, he would be in town, so why not do another race together? He says he challenged me, but I think it was more of a mutual thing, like "You want to race when you come down? Sure...". But, if challenging me sounds good, I'm happy to keep that story. I screwed up, though, and forgot that my mother was going to be in town that weekend too. So, instead of having her stay with us and play with Noah, I had instead offered up the guest bedroom to Jon and figured I'd spend my time with him. This is all fine, of course, because my mother drives me nuts and I'd rather not spend more time listening to her prattle on about her weight loss than I absolutely have to. I prattle on about running a bit, but I don't think I'm as irritating and besides...I like listening to myself talk about running. But, this irritated my sister, since it meant that she would have to do all the driving around. Alyssa was already in Florida and was flying back home with our mother in tow, but she didn't want to get stuck with her all weekend either. I figure it is only fair that Alyssa has to do this once in awhile considering all the shit my parents do for her. What an ungrateful turd she can be!

I got a bit nutty trying to plan things out and appease everyone, to the point where I clearly made Audrey nuts. As a solution, I finally just accepted that it could be weird and messy and that somebody might not be too happy. But, screw it. What can you do? I couldn't tell Jon not to come down and I couldn't tell my mother she couldn't come over. As the weekend got close, it turned out that our friends, Karsten and Laura, and their daughter, Sofia, would be in town too. But, at least they didn't need a place to stay.

The weekend didn't go all that badly, actually. I got to spend a fair amount of time with Jon, which I know he really enjoyed. I kept catching him looking at me, smiling. I think it makes him feel special to hang out with me. My mother and sister were fine most of the day on Saturday, but they got strange at the end. We had a BBQ and invited a few more people over to help justify all the food we planned to cook. I can't understand why Sheila had to stuff our fridge with Mike's Hard Lemonade, since she is the only lightweight that drinks that kind of crap. That stuff is for sorority girls and has no business in my fridge. Shit, man, it took up all the room we had intended for the Amstel Light! By the way, don't buy beer at Giant. Jon and I went to get a six pack before the BBQ and those slippery bastards tried to rip us off. Jon wanted the new Heineken Light stuff, but the six pack came up at the register as $15.99! That is the same price they are charging for a 12 pack. When we pointed this out, the bitchy woman who seemed to be some sort of manager couldn't bother to do anything other than tell us that the price is whatever came up on the register, basically. We tried to show here the obvious mistake at the shelf, but she didn't care and just gave us her backside and walked away. Nice. We bought the Amstel instead and won't be buying any more beer from them.

After the beer and BBQ and cake, everybody quickly left and/or fell asleep. Jon was going to stay over, but it seemed like Sheila strong armed him into coming to her house. Maybe she wanted to get him to try some wedding cake or to help her pick out some invitations or something. He is good at all that sensitive stuff. And Sheila needs all the help she can get. Do I sound like a total dick yet?

My mother and sister couldn't decide whether to stay at our place Saturday night or go back to Alyssa's place. They ended up going back to the city. I can't really tell why and I can't say that it matters all that much. It meant we had the house to ourselves, which was kind of nice. The next morning, I picked up Jon and we headed into the city for the race. I got a little turned around on the way there, but we had plenty of time to sign in, get our packets, travel back and forth to the car, hit the bathroom, and meet up with Bridget. We tried to get into the pack in the few moments before the gun went off, but we couldn't really figure out where to enter and what exactly was going on. The signs to indicate overall finish time, providing some indication of what kind of group you belonged in, were hard to see. So, we just jumped in and took off when it was time. I didn't have to do much dodging or weaving, so I guess we picked the right spot.

The race was enoyable, but uneventful. Running around RFK was rather boring, but the section that went through the neighborhood was nice. A fair number of people were outside, a bunch of kids were waving and cheering, and a few people had hoses going to help runners cool off. I was feeling pretty good until the last 1.5 miles or so. We headed down the hill and turned around the US Capitol and then it hit me...we'd be finishing the race by running back up the hill. That was not easy...uphill, into the sun, heading into the home stretch. I did have some energy left at the end, though, and "kicked it out" in the last few hundred feet. I felt great afterwards and wandered around for a while trying to find Jon, Bridget, or Audrey and Noah. I found my family first and then Bridget and Jon joined us in the playground.

For some reason, I often have to take a big crap after a race. I guess the excitement gets peristalsis going or something and my intestines gotta get to work. So, despite the warnings from Jon and Bridget about the tiny toilets, I went to do my business in the elementary school that race was staged at. Yeah, tiny is an understatement. These toilets were made for a doll house. I laughed out loud when I went in the stall. I sat down, though, and did what I had to do. Of course, this required holding my junk to the side with my left hand to keep it out of the water. It also required that I stand up to make room for my pile as it mounted up...you wouldn't want to just sit on your own doo if you can help it. And, I had to stand up, hold my can open and wipe with the free hand. There just was no way to wipe normally. Not the most inconvenient poop I've ever had, but it certainly ranks in the top five.

After the race, we went up to Adams Morgan, grabbed some bagels at So's Your Mom, and hung out in the park for a while. My mother and sister met up with us, keeping my mother from bitching about not seeing Noah again, and keeping us from having to buy those two moochers breakfast.

Here are some shots from the race...I did a screen capture of the stuff from Brightroom. There is no way in hell I am going to pay them for these photos.



I had wanted to run a sub 8:00/mi pace and I went way past my expectations. I've ramped up my "training" as a result and I think this bodes well for my goal of a marathon in less than 4 hours. In the end, the weekend worked out well and I surpassed the goal I had set for the race. I can't complain...too much.

Capitol Hill Classic - 10K
Washington, DC
May 21, 2006

Gun Time: 49:36
Net Time: 48:19
Pace: 7:47
Age Place: 83/233
Overall Result: 377/1152

End of the road...what next?

So, it seems official. I have hit my goal weight. When I started this whole thing, getting in shape and all, I figured I'd be happy to get back to my college weight - 200 lbs. And, it would let me fit into my old clothes, waist size 36. I thought that was a good goal and one that I'd be happy with. But, after losing 65 pounds, I guess I needed a new goal and a reason to keep going. So, I set my next target as 185 and a waist size of 34. Hit that by Thanksgiving, which was good timing. I stalled out during the holiday season and probably gained a little back, particularly since I threw all my cares out the window during the Steelers playoff run. But, I got back on track and ramped up the running some. I wanted to get to 20-25 miles a week and I've hit that mark too. The final goal was to get to 175 and a waist size of 32. Not that I needed to do it, but it seemed like a reasonable final goal for weight and all that. Well, I have been at or below that number all week...which I think is good enough to say I've done it. But, what next? I can't just keep losing weight. Audrey has made it clear she doesn't find skinny guys attractive. And, frankly, I don't need to get thinner or have a smaller waist. My health is great (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.), I'm running 20-25 miles a week, and it seems like I've accomplished what I set out to do. But, I need something to shoot for in order to stay motivated. So, as a "present" and a challenge to myself, I signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon yesterday. I've got more than enough time for a full scale training program and I think I've got a good base to start from. And, since I've consistently done better during a race than I expected to, I am going out on a limb and setting my finish time goal for 3:50. It seems aggressive to me at the moment, but I think I can do this. My performance at the Cherry Blossom back in April is my benchmark at the moment and I think I'm going to get a PBR this weekend at the Capitol Hill Classic. I'm throwing down the gauntlet for that race too...I want a sub 8:00/mi pace for that one. Tough, but I think I can pull that one off too.

If you are up for doing MCM, join me! Registration is open, but it will fill up VERY FAST.

EX2 Off Road Half-Marathon, Prince William Park

So, this past Sunday, I ran my first half-marathon and my second trail run. It was an amazing experience, but my thighs are still killing me. I have never run so hard in my life. Seriously, this was easily the most physically exhausting thing I have ever done. At the end, I felt so stiff and sore I was afraid to sit down for fear that I couldn't get back up. And, for the first five minutes or so post-race, I had a sharp pain in the middle of my chest. I have no idea what it was other than my lungs saying "Are you fucking crazy?". It is now days later and I still have soreness in my legs to the degree that it makes going up and down stairs somewhat difficult. It didn't stop me from running 4 miles yesterday or mowing the front lawn today, but it is still more pain than I've had from running at any point in the past. I also got two nice new blisters, one for each foot. And, for the second time in as many weeks, the second toe on my right foot developed a blister with blood in it, making it increasingly clear that I'll probably lose that toenail. Nice. Maybe I'll preserve it as part of some sort of disgusting running shrine, almost like the one that BrundleFly collects in his medicine cabinet as his parts fall off in his transformation (catch the reference?).

In colder weather, I might have been tempted to run in my Soprano's Adidas Track Suit, but I stuck with plain old running shorts and a Reebok performance top. I forgot to grease up the nips, but my friend and partner for the day, Bridget, happily lent me some vaseline-like stuff which pretty much saved the day. I was the slightest bit raw afterward, but it was not too bad. I wonder if my nipples won't just harden up from all of this abrasion. I've rubbed them to the point of bleeding at least three times now and I imagine it will happen a few more times before I am through.


I started out my further up in the crowd this time and was able to get past the slowpokes and the thick part of the crowd before we entered into the single track areas. This kept me from getting stuck behind someone who couldn't traverse the more challenging terrain without stopping and backing everyone up. So, I was able to run non-stop for the entire distance. I also made use of the aid stations, stopping for water or Gatorade at almost every one of them and even grabbing a Vanilla Bean GU halfway through the race. It wasn't bad, actually, although it looks odd. It tastes like cupcake frosting, but looks like some kind of clear acne medication or maybe a thick and gooey lube. I don't know if it helped me at all, frankly, but it was a nice treat. The downside to the GU was that I had to carry the packaging to the next aid station before I could throw it out. And, in the process of trying to dispose of it and grab another water, another runner and I almost collided.

The weather was perfect and the trail conditions were very good, so only a few spots of mud to deal with. I must have crossed almost a dozen bridges, jumped a few streams, and run over a hundred logs or so. There were a number of extremely steep climbs and some decent rocky outcroppings to deal with. But, the most interesting part of the run was the segments that were stream side. A good part of the route was little more than running through bushes. There was a trail, cleared enough so that you could tell where to put your feet, but the opening in the brush was extremely narrow. The challenge was to not drag any leaves or branches so much as to have them snap back and smack the person behind you. It was exhilarating to run like that, in such a natural manner. Running feels very natural to me to begin with, but flying through barely cleared woods seems like the purest form of it, doing something that our species has been doing for millenia. Of course, instead of chasing down prey in a loincloth, I was running some silly ass race while wearing all sorts of manmade fabrics.

I did much better than I thought I would, coming in at 2:09:47. I figured it would take me close to 2:30 or so to finish, but I had a fair amount of luck in getting behind strong runners who I could "pace" with. And, at one point, I was the lead runner in a pack, so I felt pressured to keep a good pace up. I think I was running around 9:00/mi at that point, but I couldn't sustain that up the hills over the last few miles. The stronger runners behind me passed on by, slapping me on the back for my efforts. The comraderie was nice and gave me a bit of boost to keep climbing and charging along. I have found that I do well on the hills and am usually able to gain a fair amount of ground on my fellow runners at those points, but this race really tested me and my abilities. I just ran out of gas towards the end, in a way I hadn't experienced before. It came down to willpower, frankly. I could feel my legs tightening up and I knew I was going to have some pain afterwards, but I kept pushing along. I came close to twisting my ankles a few times, but I ignored the jolt each time and just kept running. Sticks, branches, slippery rocks...you just keep going because you know that it will be impossible to get running again if you stop. Sure, you can walk up the hill, but then how long will it be before you get too stiff to continue and end up just walking the whole way? See the pain on my face...


I felt like death at the end, but I think I came in decently fast in the last few hundred yards. There was a good sized crowd and I got really psyched to see that Audrey and Noah (and Bridget's husband, Mike) had made it down to meet us at the end. All I could think about the last few miles was the scones that Audrey was going to bake that morning and I had hoped that she'd be here with them. When I finished, I could barely wait to eat one...those things are just awesome and I think the post-run scone (chocolate and cranberry) was the best thing I have ever eaten. Goddamn, my wife is a good ass cook (okay, so this is for her). I also had some M&Ms, more Gatorade, and a slice of pizza, all thanks to the race organizers. What an amazing day! I'm a total running dork and you should definitely make fun of me!

EX2 Off-Road Marathon - Prince William Park
Triangle, VA
May 7, 2006 9AM

Time: 2:09:47
Pace: 9:54
Age Place: 26/54
Overall Result: 65/208 (really 210, but two didn't finish at all)

Dude, Where's My Music?

Why does radio suck so badly? The one program I really enjoyed, The Sports Reporters, has been moved to 9AM to fill the gap left by Tony Kornheiser (biggest damn arrogant blowhard around). So, I now get Coach John Thompson for my evening drive home...great coach, horrible radio personality. He is long winded, amazingly monotone, slow witted, and just boring enough to make you want to drive your car into a telephone pole for some excitement. As bad as he is, his sidekicks are worse, particularly Doc Walker...the biggest cheeseball ass-kisser on DC radio right now. This dude never has anything negative to say...not just negative, but not even mildly critical. He defends everyone and always seems to either buy the crap that he hears from the local teams or just spouts it because he can't think of anything original to say. Doc Walker...dumber than you would think a former NFL pro could be.

I love sports radio...good sports radio, like I used to listen to as a kid in NJ. WFAN, 660AM, out of NYC is the pinnacle of local sports radio. The hosts are opinionated, loud, and extremely knowledgable. And, none of those guys mess around discussing non-sports crapola. That was why I hated Kornheiser so much. I'm listening to sports radio because I don't like to listen to regular talk radio, I'm sick of NPR, and music stations stink. That last thing I want to hear is more music interspersed with political commentary and the rambling complaints of an aging Jew. Damn, all that dude does is complain and bitch and complain and bitch. I think he is going to bomb on Monday Night Football, but that means his sorry, whiny ass will be back on the radio in DC again soon.

So, what to do? In the mornings, I jump between NPR, Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio (another horrible set of retards), and the Junkies. The Junkies are total clowns, but I enjoy the banter and the fact that these guys are real, everyday guys. And, they spend enough time discussing sports to make me happy, especially since they don't have Mike Golic and his unintelligible nonsense. Golic might have something to say, but you can't make out any words since he always has food in his mouth.

I am tempted to get satellite radio, but I don't want to have to pay for it. And, I imagine I'll find out that I hate most of the stations. I wish I had a working iPod!

Brand New Flava in Ya Ear!

Or, surgically inserted tubes...

Noah has had five ear infections since the beginning of 2006. And, frankly, I don't think he has ever been without fluid in his ears. So, after having filled him full of antibiotics a half dozen times, we saw an ENT specialist and got "approved" for ear tubes.

In fact, Audrey took him to the doctor last Tuesday and we were scheduled for the procedure for the following morning at 6:30AM. Much faster than we expected, but we had to jump at the chance to just get this done. It was tough to get up that early, but the little guy handled it like a champ. Because they were giving him general anesthetic, we couldn't allow him to have any food or water after he went to bed. It makes you feel like a horrible parent when your child keeps telling you that he is thirsty and hungry and you can't give him anything. He doesn't understand why and probably thinks you are punishing him for no reason. Noah kept saying things like "Daddy, thirsty...water please" or "Hungry for breakfast, please". I felt like a jerk. He even tried to get tricky with us at the surgery center. He could see the styrofoam cups for the coffee available in the lounge (one of those single pod machines), so he asked to have one to play with. I let him have one in an effort to try and make happy, but that immediately led to him asking for water for his cup. Thankfully, it wasn't much longer before they took us back to the operating area. It was unsettling to dress our toddler in a gown and put him in a hospital bed. He was pretty chill, watching Disney and handling the poking and prodding with ease. He got very upset when the time came for the procedure and they took him out of the room and down the hall. It was obvious that he knew something was going to happen and that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be with him. He seemed scared and cried out for us, which made us both want to cry too. But, no more than fifteen minutes passed before we were called back in to see him. He was just sleeping in the bed, peacefully. I think he started snoring a good bit, so we jut waited for the drugs to wear off. When he awoke, he was somewhat disoriented and had a bit of a crazed look in his eye. His hair was kind of wacky too. But, he calmed down pretty quickly and was quick to accept the cherry ice pop they offered him. The whole event ended rather quietly. He finished the pop, we got him dressed, and headed on our way.

We stopped at an Einstein Bagels joint on the way home. Dude, that place sucks. Horrible bagels that do nothing but disrepect the name "Einstein". The coffee wasn't too bad and the chocolately brownies that we bought grew on me, but Audrey's egg sandwich looked like microwaved ass. Noah was fussy and indecisive and basically couldn't choose just one thing. We bought two different brownies and chocolate milk and he still started to get cranky and ask for a cookie. We wolfed down our food and left.

I think it has made a huge difference in his behavior and general attitude. Think about it...if you no longer had pressure in your ears and verying degrees of discomfort and pain, you'd be much happier too. It hasn't been perfect, though. We are still giving him antibiotics, orally and putting drops in his ears, and we are waiting to hear back on the results of the bacteria culture. There is some concern that the chronic infections are the result of drug-resistant bacteria, meaning it make take some additional measures to truly clear up the problem. Additional measures meaning the doctor straps Noah to a bed and suctions crap out of his ears or they put a central line into him (tube in him up to his heart) and pump him full of more antibiotics. The kid is already getting Cipro, what the hell else can we do?

More Adventures in Product Management

This isn't intended to be funny or anything like that. I just thought I should share these little tidbits I've picked up through work experience.

There are some keys to making product management work. Nobody can argue that there are some "keys", but they might quibble with the ones that I think are most important. They can chew their own nads, for all I care.

First thing is that PM, whether one person or a whole, must have a clearly defined set of responsibilities and an obvious place within an organization. You can't be successful with PM by committee and you can't have it work if all of the stakeholders don't understand what PM is doing. PM has to interface with sales, marketing, development, etc. and those communications need to be seamless. So, for example, developers need to understand that PM will define the requirements for their work, but will not dictate how to design the software. PM decides what the product needs to do, but development determines how the product will do it. If the implementation doesn't work well, then PM has the right to tell the developers to do it over (within reason). This is a frustrating thing for everyone involved, which is why good requirements are so important.

Which leads me to the second key. It isn't just good requirements; it's understanding what good requirements are and knowing how to write them. I'm not good at describing them, but I know them when I see them.

Back to the first key for a moment. It helps a whole hell of a lot when a product manager does not have a boss that ignores his/her efforts. Okay, so this did happen to me. I worked hard on developing product strategy and got the CTO to buy in only to have the idiot CEO I worked for completely disregard it all. Doesn't exactly move things forward if the CEO basically goes back to implementing his own ideas whenever he feels like it, does it?

Alright, more on good requirements. This is probably the one thing that product managers must do well. If you don't know how to do it, learn. Pragmatic Marketing offers a class and Joel Spolsky has written some great articles about it. RTFM and get moving.

Third key...? Plentiful chocolate cake.

Running Burke Lake Park

Burke Lake Park is just down the road from our house and I've been hearing a lot lately about how nice it is to run there. There is a 4.7 mile loop that winds around the lake, much of it along or right near the shoreline. I gave it a shot this past weekend and it was really, really enjoyable. I was attempting to meet with some folks who regularly run the trail, but I didn't find them and ended up running alone. Kind of a shame to get up early and make it to the park before 7AM to not have things work out, but I got to run while it was still cool and while the mist was just starting to rise off the water. And, that early in the day, there just aren't that many people on the trail, so I had the freedom to sing out loud when I felt like it.

If you get a chance, it is definitely worth trying out. Of course, since I've got very few readers, the only way they'd be trying out Burke Lake Park is because they've come to visit and I am dragging them there for a run. The bonus is that Starbucks is on the way back and there is always time for a good coffee and a muffin.

Adventures in Product Management

So, I've got the EX2 Off-Road Half Marathon coming up this Sunday and I'm trying to let a very nasty looking blister on my foot heal beforehand. So, while that happens, why not post about weird experiences I've had in my career...like the time I worked for a guy with a bad mustache who wanted me to "invent" a plastic case for an RFID tag. Long story that won't make sense until I explain it all.

I was a mid-level guy working for a government contractor who mostly handled task-based stuff. I didn't have any real managerial responsibilities of any kind, but I was very happy being a subject matter expert and the only guy who straddled the fence between techie and business type on the team. Usually, people expected me to be the "smart" about technologies we wanted to consider using in a solution. So, I had to know stuff about biometrics, RFID, wireless, etc. and I had to be able to explain it to other people. The guy who ran our group decided that there had to be a huge market for equipping arms rooms with RFID systems to help automate the inventory. Turns out he and a few others, who were no longer around of course, had developed a prototype and showed it off at some trade shows a few years before. But, they never sold anything and they didn't bother to put a lot of effort into it at the time. So, this guy who we can call Stash (as in very fucking ugly moustache), decided it was time to dust this piece of shit off and hand it to me for fixing. There was some sense in doing it since Stash had convinced a friend of his to buy two copies of the solution. But, there is a very basic set of logic when doing product development that at least suggests that you should track the costs versus the revenue so you can determine if you'll ever make money on the product. You know, if it costs more to make than you'll ever get back in sales, well, then it just isn't worth the effort. Stash should have thought about this. I did, but nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. It costs thousands and thousands of dollars to buy equipment, even cheap RFID equipment, and to have a few developers work on something for a few weeks. Those two sales didn't cover these costs, but worse was that Stash decided we should sell it to people for less than $1000 a copy. Ridiculous. At less than $1000 for a software product, you are effectively selling a commodity. To make a profit, you need to sell lots of copies, which requires all of the infrastructure to get there. You know, marketing and sales and a good customer support team...none of which we had nor planned to get. So, all of this effort was essentially a waste. But, the best part was how much of my time was thrown in the toilet on a wild goose chase to get this wacky plastic case made.

So, if you are going to automate the tracking of inventory, in an arms room or any place else, you need to find a way to afix the RFID tag to the item you want to track. With cartons in a warehouse, it isn't that difficult. But, with M9 pistols and SAW rifles, it is a bit more challenging. Where do you put the RFID tag? You can't just slap it on the outside because the metal would interfere with the RF signal too much. You can't lash it to the weapon like a baggage tag because soldiers will rip it off immediately. So, you have to find a place to apply it that will protect it and will allow it to work. The only place, at least as far as we could tell, was to stick it inside the pistol grips. We just expoxied it up inside the grip and it worked reasonably well. But, Stash decided we needed something fancier. So, for this product that we couldn't make any money on...I had to find a plastics manufacturer to make an enclosure for an RFID tag that could fit inside a pistol grip. I spent weeks, on the phone and in meetings, with a manufacturer in an effort to design a piece that would work. In the end, the molds for the piece were going to cost $20-30K. Then, we'd need to pay for a limited production run, employees to assemble the parts and package them up, and we'd have to find a place to store all this stuff. As a refresher, Stash wanted to sell the software for less than $1000 and he figured we could sell them bags of these enclosures for a few extra bucks.

Do you see the problem with this situation? When Stash really understood the costs of making the enclosures, he shut up about a lot of this. He periodically tried to revive the effort, but I purposefully dragged my feet so I could focus my efforts on projects that were actually making money. Moral of the story is that you better have a good sense for what you can sell something for before you go off and invest a lot of money in building it.

Backyard Burn Spring Series Race #3 - Hemlock Overlook

My first trail run and it was awesome. I had no idea what to expect, but it was a really amazing and invigorating experience. I was concerned about the conditions of the trail considering all of the rain we've had, but I wasn't as affected by it as I thought I'd be. It was a field of 300 runners or so, broken evenly between the 5 and the 10 mile races. Neither race was the distance they advertised, partly because they had to change the race routes in the morning due to flooding. I believe that the 5 mile race, which I ran, turned out to be about 4.5 miles or so. They made an announcement with the distance at the beginning, but I don't remember exactly what was said. 4.5 or 4.6 or 4.8...something like that. The 10 miler was less than 9 miles, but I don't think anyone complained considering the number of hills and the degree of inclines. Regardless, Jon would have found it very irritating and chalked it up to funny Virginia math and our inability to measure stuff. I started too far back and I think I could have run a faster race had I not gotten stuck behind people at a number of different points. This wasn't like other races in that there was almost no room to pass people for most of the course. Single track racing along streams and through the woods really means that the trail is only wide enough for one runner at a time. Also, when one person gets stuck on some rocks or climbing a hill, everyone behind them has to slow down and walk. This happened two or three times, causing a number of people around me to grumble.

I ran pretty hard when I could, but the difficult part was jumping over logs, running up and down steps, trying not to slip on rocks and wood, etc. I did a decent job of jumping over stuff, staying off the wet rocks and not getting too bogged down in the mud. There was a moment or two when I thought that the spot I was about to plant my foot was going to be a problem, but I got lucky and never lost my footing. I know that I could not have made it up the sides of those hills and through some of the creek and stream beds as quickly if I didn't have the extra traction. I was moving pretty quickly when I came to a plank-covered walkway that was pretty slick. It felt like I was in a controlled slide instead of really running at that point. And, I probably got close to losing it and taking the person behind me down too on more than one occasion, but forward momentum saved me. That, and I grabbed a few tree branches when I ran some turns.

It was a much more exhausting race than any I've done before. I was panting heavily on the hills and I think I spooked a few people as I came up on them from behind. What can you do...I didn't mean to come off like some trail running pervert. You have to pay careful attention to the ground right in front of you, which means you don't get to zone out and relax. And, while you are mostly running forward, you spend a lot of time zigzagging, hopping, and jumping in all sorts of directions. Plus, the hills in this race were the steepest hills I've ever run by far, to the point where you are basically running in a switchback fashion up and down the sides of the valley.

The race wasn't as professionally organized as some other races I've done. No ChampionChip at all, so no ability to get a net time. Most of the course was marked with plastic tape and ribbons, so if there hadn't always been a runner within sight of me, I would have definitely gotten lost. They started late, but that was due to rerouting the race. The food was kind of weak, I thought, but they gave out the coolest t-shirt yet. I appreciated that they had hot pizza, which is a change, but the bagels looked like frozen ones that had been thawed out. Despite all of this, I think the organizers, EX2 Adventures, made it a really fun event.

All in all, I would definitely do it again. In fact, I am thinking about signing up for the Backyard Burn Fall Series now. I don't know if I can handle a full 10 miles in the woods yet, though.

Backyard Burn Spring Series Race #3 - 5 miles

Hemlock Overlook, Clifton, VA
April 23, 2006, 9:00 am

Time: 39:45 (Gun Time)
Pace: 8:50 (unsure of exact distance)
Overall Place: 40/120
Age Place: 20/32 (I guess guys in their 30s are just damn fast on the trails)

List of Results

Correcting the Ads

Shoes, shoes, running, running. I just don't want the ads to go back to crap about colons and whatnot. I know that some think this thing should be renamed to "Dave's Extra Boring Blog", but those people should know that I am giving them the finger right now.

Post-procedure report

So, good news is that I don't have colitis any longer. It was just an acute bout, most likely brought on by a stomach bug that I caught from Noah (goddamn kids...nothing but disease carriers). Maybe we should change Noah's middle name to Pestilence. They did find two polyps, though, so I need to make one more visit to the gastroenterologist. Chances are that it is nothing at all, and even is if it is something...there is no automatic link between polyps and cancer. But, as I am finding out, there is family history with GI problems, like Crohn's Disease, and intestinal cancer. So, I'll just have to stay in good health and get checked out regularly.


The best part of the whole experience was the anesthetic they gave me. I have no idea what it is called, but it metabolizes quickly. So, they put you out, do a quick procedure, and you are waking up in the recovery room in no time at all. I don't think it was even 30 minutes from when they wheeled me into the operating room to when I started to wake up. The stuff worked very, very fast. I felt a sensation of cold going up my arm from the saline wash that you get first. I turned to the anesthesiologist and asked if the stuff was going in. It hadn't started yet, but she showed me a syringe with some opaque white liquid. I didn't even notice that she had injected it into the IV feed, but I was suddenly overcome with a very strong lightheadedness, to which I remember saying something like "Oh, I guess this is it". Next thing I know, a nurse is asking me my name and I'm coming to in the recovery room. She asks me if I prefer Dave or David and I respond with "My mother calls me David...or Audrey when she's mad at me". Mind you, I have not regained full control of myself yet, so the filters that are normally in place have not been reestablished. I was talking loudly, at least that is what Audrey says, and I was being rather wacky. I think I was talking to Audrey when I said "I wanted to say that my name is Assface...and that feces shoots out of my mouth when I sing". Yeah, that sounds nuts. It is something I picked up from an SNL skit a few years ago when Jon Stewart was the host.

In any case, getting sick can be fun.

Something is wrong with Blogger

I posted a quick health update, but that post seemed to wipe out the post about self-identification. Now, the older post is back and the new one has disappeared. I can't figure this nonsense out.

Self-identifying by way of other people's words...

On my way into work this morning, I saw someone with the vanity plate "1JOHN 4 9". I assume this is a biblical reference, but I have no idea what John 4:9 says and I don't plan on looking it up. What I do know is that it seems rather trite to pick one chunk out of the entire Bible and slap it on your car as a way of exclaiming who you are or what you believe in. It got me to thinking about all the other oversimplified ways that people employ to identify themselves. You know, people who stick an Apple decal on their car or an NRA symbol or who fly the confederate flag. People seem so quick to associate themselves with these things and to self-label. Maybe this just makes it easier for us all to communicate with each other and to seek out like-minded individuals, but I think that it is mostly just a cop-out. I've had too many experiences in which a person is not what they seem or is much more than I assumed they might be based on these initial signs and labels. It got me to thinking about what basic labels I might slap on myself and how they might inform a stranger of who I am, or who I think I am. I am a...

First-born son and grandson, who is the oldest brother of three siblings...
Husband of a wonderful woman and father to a two year old boy...
Project manager at a technology firm...
Homeowner in the suburbs outside DC...
Owner and operator of both a Volvo stationwagon and a Toyota Prius...
Newly addicted runner...

But, frankly, does this really tell you who I am? Does it tell you what kind of movies I like or music I want to listen to? Does it tell you whether I vote or not or which party I might choose? Does it give you any real sense of my core values and whether or not I might be someone you would want to associate with?

Maybe. I mean, if you are a single city dweller and a culture snob, you can probably tell that I am not going to be someone who will share your interests. But, if you have young kids and are a devoted family guy, we might have something to talk about. If you like to run or you work in tech and own a hybrid, we might be friends (although, too many tech workers who drive hybrids are total dorks...I have no desire to hang out with them). Can we boil ourselves down to just a few words and still give people a good idea of who we are?

Shoes & News

Whole bunch of stuff to post, but it may not make it all into this. The simple stuff first...I got the Asics Gel-Trabucos yesterday. The whole Zappos thing worked out and UPS got them to me on time. They look very outdoorsy, which is not a requirement for me, but it is appreciated. Traditional road running shoes have certain looks and trail runners do as well. This is definitely a trail runner and I like it. They felt funny at first, but I kept them on last night just to break them in a bit and the fit was much nicer at the end. They have a lot of adjustment built in, so I will have to play around with the lacing to figure out how best to adjust the heel as well as tie them comfortably.
The one thing that burns me, though, is that I saw these shoes at DSW for $80 yesterday. They had a different color, one which I prefer, but they didn't have my size. 10, 11, 12...no 12.5! So, I basically paid $13 more to get my size and to have access to an unlimited return policy. Doesn't seem worth it in the end, but that could turn out to be wrong. Besides, I can always go back to DSW, buy the shoes there if they do get my size, and return the first pair to Zappos.

I had planned on getting up this morning to run in them, but I didn't make it out of bed in time. So, I guess I'll just have to run tonight. A shorter run on a mostly paved surface, but I'll hit the grass and dirt as much as I can. To really get my feet wet (no pun intended), I signed up for the last race in the Backyard Burn series put on by EX2 Adventures. I'm doing the 5 mile trail run so that I can get a sense for how a trail running race works, to get some real time on a trail, and to further get used to the new shoes. I am pretty excited about this race, actually. I think it will be a heck of a lot of fun and it isn't that far from my house. In fact, on a good day, I could run to the race start, run the trail itself, and then consider running back home.

Got a few other running items recently too. I picked up a 4 bottle Fuel Belt, which I think is the Terminator model (or something wacky and aggressive sounding like that). Actually, I think it is called the Endurance model, which makes no sense since "endurance" suggests a long run and this is only the half-way point in their product line. You can get six bottles, eight bottles, and bigger bottles for your belt, which would all help out on a very long run.



I also got a second part of decent running shorts at the Reebok outlet. Nothing fancy, but something that will work well this summer.

I am just really excited to be running again after this nonsense with my health. I feel good, initial report from the doctor is that I am fine, and I am back on the path. Anybody wanna race?

Shoes Update...As If You Care

I mean, really, new shoe purchases are not that exciting...except maybe to the person doing the purchasing. So, I looked and looked and looked and couldn't find a single decent pair of trail runners in a store anywhere. After striking out at Metro Run & Walk, I checked out LL Bean and the New Balance store here in Tysons Corner. The Bean had nothing, but New Balance did have most of its line of trail runners in stock. I tried a few on, but I wasn't happy with the fit and sizing. They seem to have a bunch of trail runners for neutral runners and then one or two high end styles for "heavy" runners - big dudes with big arches, basically. Way more shoe than I need. I don't want to drag more weight around on my feet than necessary, nor do I want too much stuff built onto the shoe. I am really just looking for a good tread, a decent toe guard, a fit similar to my road runners, and a style that isn't too weird or garish looking. Some trail runners are really cool, like the Keen Ochoco, but they are expensive and not fully proven in the market yet. I am of the opinion that running companies know more about making a running shoe than do outdoor companies, so a trail runner from Asics or Adidas should be a better option for me than one from Merrell or Keen or NorthFace. Those companies can stick to making wacky sandals and funky hiking shoes and leave the running stuff to the folks who have spent decades working with runners of all shapes and sizes. Do I sound like some sort of running snob here? Maybe I am, but I also find it silly that the wackier, more expensive shoes come from companies that aren't as affiliated with running, suggesting that you aren't paying for experience or actual shoe capability. I think it probably relates back to my Nalgene gripe - these "fancy" shoes are made for folks who just want to look cool as they walk around the rest stops along Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park

I also went to REI to check things out and was disappointed by them as well. More fancy trail runners there too. Dick's Sporting Goods had some as well, but not the two I have been looking for. So, in the end, I decided to order a pair of Asics Gel-Trabuco's from Zappos. They are more expensive by $8-9 bucks than RoadRunner Sports, but Zappos return policy is awesome. I am buying shoes over the internet that I have never tried on. If they suck, Zappos will let me send them back with no problem. RRS will only let me do that if I plunk down $40 and join their club first. Then, I have to buy a bunch of other crap throughout the year to make up that $40 in savings and free shipping.

I've gotten back on the road this week, running twice on my usual routes. It has a made a world of difference in my mood and I feel totally energized again. Best part is that I seem faster (from the weight loss, maybe) and all of the cranky aches and pains are gone. I think the time off helped me heal up and might have been the best thing for me. I'm going to do a slow 10 miles tomorrow and then a short recovery run on Sunday, maybe 3-4 miles. I want to get back to 4 runs a week, if I can. It is the only reasonable way to continue building mileage without stressing my joints with really long runs. My general plan has been three runs a week, two of them 5-6 miles long and then a third on Saturday mornings that is 10+. I want to transition to four runs, with a more staggered approach through the week and a long run that isn't more than 30% or so of my total weekly mileage. So, to start off, I think that a 4/6/6/12 is a good target. Not the exact ratio I want, but it will get my on the right path.

Need New Running Gear...Advice?

I am in the market for two things in particular: a pair of trail runners and some hydration system for long runs. I am looking at the Adidas Supernova Trails and the Asics Gel-Trabucos, both of which seem to be well regarded trail runners. I am intrigued by the stuff from Merrell and Keen, but I wonder if they are well versed enough in the construction of running shoes to be able to make good ones. I am sure they are both great at making hiking and walking shoes, but running is a different matter and I don't need to be dropping a Benjamin on something that hurts my feet after 5 or 6 miles. What stinks is that no stores in my area carry trail runners. My local running store has nothing. I checked out Metro Run & Walk yesterday and they have decided to stop carrying them as well, having marked down the few they have in stock. I tried on a pair of Brooks Cascadias, but they aren't stability runners and the color is frightening. So, my last real shot is at the outdoorsy type stores, like REI and Hudson Trail Outfitters. REI claims to have a bunch of this stuff at their local store, but I think that they may only really carry the wacky brands and not the Adidas and Asics, which I would prefer. I could order shoes online, but I am still trying to balance out price and return policy. RoadRunner Sports has great shoe prices, but the only way to return them if they don't fit and feel right is if I join their club. Zappos might have a great return policy, but the shoes will definitely cost more.

Drug-free, for the moment

I felt like crap yesterday. I had just gotten sick of taking antibiotics and eating simple, bland foods. I felt totally depressed, in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. I wasn't myself at all. Thankfully, the drugs are all done and I don't have a nasty taste in my mouth all the time. And, I went for a run last night, which made all the difference in the world. I ran a fast 5 miles or so. It was great to be outside and to be moving.

I think things are back on track and that I won't have any problem making the half-marathon in May. I am signing up for the Lawyers Have Heart 5k, which benefits the American Heart Association. Despite this fundraiser, I don't think most lawyers actually give a crap about anyone and that they only do this to try and rub a little sunshine onto their image. Frankly, I expect most of the lawyers that run to be doing it as a way to either show off in front of their colleagues or because they feel like they have to do it to score points with other members of their firm. I am doing it because my sister, a budding lawyer, was invited as part of her firm to participate and she invited me to do it with her.

Health Update

Feeling better, but not 100%. The antibiotics I'm on seem to be messing with me a bit. I'm tired, spacy, and not just myself energy-wise. One of them, the one I take 4 times a day, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Thankfully, I am finished with all this crap tomorrow. I just hope things return to normal after that. I also probably need to start eating my normal diet again, but the doctor said I need to chill out until after the procedure next week.

The Itis

Colitis, for the moment. That is what the attending doctor in the ER the other morning said that I have. You say, Dave...what are you talking about? Right, well, here is the story.

Let me start where I think the trouble began. Saturday night, I had some intestinal discomfort. That is the polite way of saying diarrhea, man. In any case, considering that Noah had been sick recently with a stomach bug, including vomiting and lots of diarrhea, I figured that I just caught something from him. I was happy I wasn't laid out in bed, feverish, or crapping myself til my butt was sore. In any case, it didn't seem like that big a deal and didn't stop me from enjoying my evening. I can't remember what we did and whether I actually enjoyed myself or not, but I know that I probably ate a piece of Audrey's sweet ass German Chocolate Chip Cake (New title for that dish is now Audrey's Sweet Ass Choco-Chip Kraut Cake) and had plenty of strawberries. Note the strawberries, as I think they play an integral part in this story. I went to bed, looking forward to the following morning's road race.

Sunday morning was quiet on the gastro-intestinal front, which was fine considering that I was going to be running 10 miles and didn't want to be the first person I know to crap themselves while running. I had some water, some coffee (not even a full cup), and a Balance bar. I felt fine through the race and right afterwards as well. As I walked around the Tidal Basin post-race, I did feel some typical diarrhea cramps again. I had already had a bottle of water, but I held off on eating the banana or on grabbing a muffin since I figured that eating would only stimulate things and make me have to go to the bathroom. My main concerns were having to do my business at a Port-a-John or dealing with the issue during the somewhat complicated trip back home. In any case, neither happened and I made it home without incident. But, that is when the fun really began.

I spent Sunday afternoon grappling with what seemed to be terrible gas pain. Audrey and I thought it might have been due to some dehydration or something, so she made me drink Pedialyte. Yuck. Not longer after she convinced me to drink it, she went to the gym and my stomach convinced itself to get rid of it. I spent the afternoon in pain, waiting for something to happen and nothing ever did. The pain subsided and we made it to Lakeside Park for some jungle gym time. Then, we headed over to Red Robin where Audrey and I shared the Fiesta Fajita Pollo Salad and the Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wrap. I felt fine as I ate, even when I helped myself to all the fries I could possibly want. Heck man, I had run 10 miles that morning and hadn't eaten much, so I figured I could go all out on the steak fries. That night, no real problems to speak of. I felt decent enough. I think some discomfort came back, but it wasn't as bad as earlier in the day and I kept thinking it would pass.

Monday morning...no sign of problems. I ate my normal diet of a balance bar, fruit, salad, etc. I had some cottage cheese at lunch as well. I didn't poop, which was abnormal, but not totally out of line to suggest that something was wrong. In the late afternoon, I started to feel some discomfort again. But, again, nothing so bad that I was the least bit concerned. I got home from work and ate dinner, which was steamed veggies, some mashed potatoes, and two chicken sausages. I followed that up with more strawberries and more of Audrey's Sweet Ass Choco-Chip Kraut Cake. But, I started having some more difficulty this time around. After Noah went to bed, the gas pain became more pronounced. But, again, not enough to concern me. Around 10PM or so, with no relief so far, I decided to go to the supermarket to get some Gas-X. I came back, took the medicine, and sat down to watch a Dane Cook DVD with Audrey. I drank some water, snacked on some Puffins, drank some Diet Coke...but I was still waiting for the farts to come. The pain keeps getting worse, to the point where I am uncomfortable in any position. Audrey goes to bed and things continue to worsen. I cannot get any relief at all, no matter what I do. The pain was coming in waves and it became difficult to move when it "hit". I decided that I would definitely not be able to sleep until this stops and, after doing some reading on WebMD, that it seemed bad enough to warrant a visit to the emergency clinic up the road. I figured that they could at least tell if it was gas pain or something else and would hopefully be able to give me something to make the pain go away. Realistically, I figured they'd have a shot of some super strong meds that would force the farts (or whatever it was) to come out. Around 1AM, I told Audrey that I was going to the clinic and that I'd hopefully be back soon. I put the phone on her bedside table, though, just in case.

I got to the clinic, filled out the basic forms, and started my wait in the lobby around 1:20AM or so. From this moment on, time isn't so easily tracked. I filled out the paperwork with the following statement: severe intestinal pain. Didn't speed things up any. I saw a nurse, who asked me some basic questions, including how much pain I was in on a scale of 1-10. I told her it was an 8. While waiting to be called back to see a doctor, I vomited in the clinic bathroom. Not long afterwards, maybe around 2:30AM or so, the nurse put me in a bed area and gave me a hospital gown to change into. I did and climbed into the bed, unable to read a magazine or do much of anything else. The doctor came by and examined me, pressing on various areas of my abdomen and asking me if it hurt. Despite the fact that the pain seemed to be coming from all over, the only places it actually hurt during her pressing was in the lower center and lower right side of my abdomen. If I wasn't having bad diarrhea, which I knew I wasn't, then it was something more serious, like a gall stone, an issue with my kidneys, or even appendicitis. And, considering the location of the pain, the doctor thought my appendix might be the culprit.

Not good news, obviously. In order to further diagnose, they drew blood. And, to help me out, they put me on an IV with morphine and some anti-nausea medication. Never having had an IV, it was a strange experience for me. I felt a cold rush up my arm from the saline solution that came in first. Then, I got very light-headed and felt woozy. I was laying flat on the bed at that point, rendered momentarily speechless from the morphine. It didn't take long before I felt a whole lot better. The pain subsided, although it didn't go away completely. The doc came by to check me out a few times to try and determine what might be going on. When she decided that it was definitely something inside me, like appendicitis, she let me know that I'd need a CT scan and that I'd have to go over to the hospital for that. Oh, and I couldn't drive myself, so they'd be calling an ambulance to take me. Oh, and I'd have to drink 40 ounces of Ginger Ale with contrast in it so that my insides would be more viewable. Great.

It must have taken me an hour to drink that constrast stuff. It wasn't that it tasted too bad. I just couldn't get all the fluid in without taking my time. And, it was room temperature.

Since the ambulance was on it's way, the doctor asked me if I wanted more morphine. Basically, she figured I'd have to wait a while at the hospital before anyone saw me, so she wanted to know if I wanted some additional pain medicine before things got too bad. Duh! I wasn't missing this opportunity, so I gladly accepted another dose of the stuff.

The EMTs showed up at 5 something, I think. I moved from the bed to the gurney on my own, finished up my contrast, and they tucked me in with a bunch of blankets so I wouldn't get cold. Then, off we went to the hospital. It was kind of weird to be around so many strangers in just a nighty, but I didn't give a crap at that point. I just wanted relief and an answer as to what was wrong with me.

We got to the hospital fairly quickly (there isn't any traffic in Fairfax in the middle of the night) and they were ready for me immediately. I got wheeled over to a new bed and the nurse came over within moments. She asked me the same questions they asked at the clinic and let me know that the ER doctor would be by soon. It was about 6AM, so I called Audrey to let her know what was going on. She still must have figured I would be home soon, assuming she even knew what time it was. It had been 5 hours since I left the house and she probably slept the entire time. I also called my boss and left him a wacky message. A few minutes later, the ER doctor came by and gave me a check up as well. He poked around my abdomen, just like the doctor at the clinic, but he also checked my lymph glands and fondled my nuts a good bit. Okay, so fondling might be a bit of a stretch. I don't know if he was just checking for a hernia or not, but he was clearly taking a close look at my cash and prizes. He didn't think I had appendicitis, but he did think I had some sort of infection since my lymph glands were swollen. In any case, he needed to see the CT scan before he would know more.

By 6:30AM, I think they were wheeling me to the CT scan. The machine is enormous. It looks like a giant donut, which you end up in the middle of. I moved from the bed to the machine and they prepped me, which consisted of positioning me with my arms up over my head and injecting me with more contrast. When the contrast went into my bloodstream, I got hot all over, like I had just downed a cocktail. Not long afterwards, the machine took over, barking commands at me and spinning around like it was angry. Alright, it was a moderately pleasant voice asking me to take a deep breath and it barely moved at all. The work was done somewhere inside the big plastic hulk, but I could sense movement and hear things buzzing, giving one the sense that amazing stuff would happen. The scan was over in five minutes and I was back on my way to the ER to wait for the results.

I fell asleep, thankfully. The doctor came back and told me I didn't have appendicitis. At some point not long after that, a nurse came over as well. She was a fast talker from Boston or NY and I was too tired to follow everything she was saying. I got a bunch of paperwork and she said I could just sleep in the bed until my ride came to get me. Just after 8AM, I opened my eyes and Audrey and Noah were right in front of me. I got up, got dressed, and went on home.

Hell of a night, huh?

End result? Initial diagnosis at the hospital is that I have colitis. They gave me prescriptions for two antibiotics and gave me a referral for a GI doctor to do some follow-up. I'm feeling a great deal better, but my diet has been flipped on its head until this thing clears up. I still feel some discomfort after I eat, but it's not that bad. And, I just hope that this turns out to be an acute, one time event.

Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run

So, I knocked out my second race of the new year. First, good news is that it was managed properly and we only ran 10 miles (as opposed to the debacle at the Rotary Resolution in Leesburg). I had to get an early start, getting up at 5:30AM to clean up and grab my stuff before heading for the Metro. Race start was at 8AM, but I didn't have much time to spare. I stopped to get gas, had to wait for the Orange line from Dunn Loring, switched at Rosslyn to the Blue line, got off at Arlington Cemetery, and then walked the 1.5 miles to the race area. Oh, and I spent 20 minutes in line to pee before the race as well.

The weather was perfect. I took my new IllumiNite vest, which I picked up at the race expo the day before, and it worked out pretty well. I didn't overheat, wasn't constricted, and I had plenty of pockets and storage space. Although, I was a little concerned that I might have fried my cellphone until I tried it out. When I fished it from the back pocket on the vest, it was pretty wet.

I was slated for the green corral, which seemed to be the category for low-end intermediate skills, although there were some fast dudes in my group. Basically, to move up to orange, you needed to be able to run the race in about an hour (way out of my league). Beyond that, the most elite group was filled with professionals only. The colored grouping was intended to help them do a wave start, but the corral area for green was completely overcrowded. I didn't even get onto the road and in the corral until after the gun went off. I just followed the throng of people who had pushed down part of the barricades to create their own entryway into the corral. It didn't keep me from getting into the race line well in advance of the ChampionChip mat, which I crossed a few minutes after 8AM.

Most of the race was uneventful. I felt good and could tell I was running a good pace. I wasn't sure what it was exactly since I forgot to start my stopwatch. I actually grabbed a water along the way, something I never do. I need more practice with trying to drink from a cup and run at the same time. All I ended up doing was swallowing air, burping, and spilling water all over myself. Now I know why people bring those belts with water bottles on them. I couldn't help but check out people's shoes as I ran. The overwhelming favorite was Asics, all models, then New Balance. There were a fair amount of Nikes, some Saucony, some Brooks, and a few Mizuno. I saw some stupid slogans on t-shirts too, the dumbest one being "It is my destiny to kick ass". This wasn't printed or professionally done. Some 20-something slowpoke decided to scrawl it on her t-shirt with a black marker. Other highlights included shirts that extolled the virtues of drinking heavily and dorky law firm and consultancy running team logos.

I could feel myself running out of gas around mile 7. Good news was we were running slightly downhill and I held on until mile 9, at which point I poured it back on, but by pouring I really mean running hard and panting heavily. Halfway through the race, I had noticed a woman in all black with her hair up in ponytails. I noticed her because her hair was very similar to Audrey's hair and I focused on her as a target. I ran up and past her, but came upon her again a few miles later. In any case, the fact that I had past her, or thought I had passed her meant that she was now my competition for the end of the race. So, when she was only a few steps ahead of me in that last mile, she became my primary motivation. I wanted to catch up and pass her and I ran like hell to do it...but she won. I had picked a tall, dorky looking guy earlier, but it didn't take long to realize I had no chance of keeping up with him.

It's hard to tell how many people ran. I don't know how many actually registered, but the results say that over 10,000 people ran the race. In any event, this was a much bigger race than I've ever participated in before. And that was the first big difference from previous race experiences. I never got very far from a crowd and the first few miles were almost claustrophobic. Even at mile 8 and beyond, I was still squeezing by people, looking over my shoulder to see if there was someone near me, and jumping to one side or another to keep speed and not run into someone's back. There were so many people that I was distracted from the surroundings, one of the principal things that attracted me to this race. I didn't really notice the cherry blossoms at all, nor did I pay much attention to the monuments or "nature" as we ran up and back on Rock Creek Parkway. It was kind of fun to run down the middle of a road that I've used as a commuter so often in the past and to run over Memorial Bridge as well.

In the end, I beat my goal of 1:30 and a 9:00/mi pace. Official time of the race is gun time, which I think is a cheesy move. My net time, the time from the moment I crossed the starting line to the moment I crossed the finish line, was 1:23:04, which breaks out to an 8:18/mi pace. That is better than I thought I would do and close to matching my 5K race pace from last October. I am psyched about my half-marathon and have started thinking about the next race I will run after that. Maybe the YMCA Loudoun County 20K, which runs part of the W&OD trail.

I did accomplish two other things in running this race. I made myself sick. I think I got badly dehydrated. I was tired, but okay until I got home around noon. I spent the rest of the day with diarrhea and stomach cramps, even vomiting at one point. I was able to eat a good dinner, but I cramped up afterwards. I have been drinking lots of water and I think I'll be fine with a good night's sleep. The other thing I did is injure my left ankle in some way. I felt it during the second half of the race, but I ignored the pain. I wasn't going to walk it in just because I had some discomfort. I was limping a bit when I got home and the inside of my ankle is a bit tender, but it not swollen. I think it is probably irritated soft tissue, maybe due to a ligament rubbing against bone or something like that. I can walk on it just fine, but I need to take it easy. I wish I had iced it today, but I never got around to it. Dumb. It just needs to hold up for another month or so.

Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Miler Bib # 5220
Washington, DC
April 2, 2006, 8:00 am

Time: 1:23:04
Overall Place: 2852/10662
Gender Place: 1176/2873
Pace: 8:18

Link to Official Race Results

Jon, I hope you don't mind that I copied your race data format. I think it is a good idea. Thanks!