So, this morning, I am gassy and bloated as all hell. I was thinking that I might be lactose intolerant (which is actually the normal condition in our species), so I've been avoiding dairy and my gut seemed to appreciate it. Much less in the fart department, less bloat and cramping, etc. But, I wondered if it might not be something else - a fluke stomach bug or maybe the veggies that I eat. So, I tried out some dairy yesterday and I am freaking dying right now. Bad gas pain, farts out the wazoo...I feel bad for anyone who comes by my cube this morning. Oof...that was a hot one! Anyways, I can't say for sure that it is dairy because I also had a great big bowl of pea soup last night, courtesy of my wife's wonderful cooking skills, and it might be related to that too.
Of course, that mound of ice cream I ate afterwards could be the problem too. Or the cheese I ate, although cheese is very low in lactose and shouldn't have been a problem. All I've eaten today has been two scrambled eggs, with no milk added...but I guess eggs could do it too. At least, I could imagine eggs being the problem since my vapors often smell like a sulfuric acid spill. Disgusting, right? Imagine how I feel, not only in the discomfort of the process of expulsion, but in having to sit in my own funk all day. No good, man. No good.